DM168

PEOPLE OF THE YEAR 2023

Grinch of the Year: Julius Malema

Grinch of the Year: Julius Malema
EFF leader Julius Malema. (Graphic and images: iStock / Frennie Shivambu / Gallo Images / Felix Dlangamandla / Shelley Christians)

Known for his red beret and red rage, the EFF leader loves a stage. Give him a podium, give him a mic, and who knows where next disaster will strike.

All we the people yearned for a pause,
From the Big Men of blah blah blah’s cause.
Jacob-the-Victim, shedding buckets of tears,
Filling his fire pool, yearning  for his Umshini Wami yesteryears

Cyril the faint-hearted, in a puzzling trance,
Millions of dollars found in his sofa by chance
But the joy-sucking Commissar takes the cake
With his fiery red beret, and his words of hate.

In February he began with a stunt,
Storming the stage at the Sona, wyd kant.
Desperate for relevance, he used red rage to show his rise as the King of Woke.
Sadly we saw it for what it was: an attention-seeking joke.

But Julius, undeterred by facts or reason,
Ordered a shutdown, a rebellious season.
March 20th it was, with a goal quite dramatic,
To oust President Ramaphosa, a plan erratic.
Yet, how embarrassing, when none joined his chorus,
His call for rebellion went unnoticed by us.

In May, with a claim, hysterically bold,
He predicted a grid collapse, a story untold.
And who to save us? Oh, the irony’s rich!
Molefe and Koko, both accused in a glitch.
Part of a scandal, a corruption case vast,
Yet Malema saw them as saviours, unsurpassed.

Come July, in a move of power and might,
Malema confirmed a decision, under the spotlight.
Two hundred and ten of his own, shown the door,
For failing in tasks, they were part of no more.
Yet he, in his glory, on a podium raised,
Confetti around, as if he should be praised.
A messiah, a saviour, in his own fancied dream,
But to the onlookers, it was a cringe-worthy scene.

Attacking judges, threatening peers in his party,
Praising a tycoon, his actions not hearty.
But the grinchiest moment, oh, it takes the cake,
Was his call against the Springboks, a shocking mistake.
Claiming they stood for supremacy, white and stark,
His words, not just harsh, but missing the mark.

So here stands Malema, in this tale quite real,
A tin-pot tyrant, with a grinch-like appeal.
A cheer-sucker, a limelight seeker, in actions and voice,
In a world needing unity, he made a divisive choice.

Thus ends our story, in Seussian rhyme,
Of Julius Malema, in 2023’s time.
A character, complex, in South Africa’s vast play,
A reminder of choices we all make each day. DM

By Heretic, with a little help from an AI bot who says she’s resigning from rhyme after this foray into human madness of the South African kind.

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R29.

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  • Con Tester says:

    Were he still alive and familiar with the absurd political theatrics that regularly play out in SA, Theodor Geisel would very likely have approved.

    While the epithet of “grinch” applied to Pope Malema is no doubt quite apt, consider that there is a self-defeating irony in labelling someone thus. Invariably, the intention of the one doing the labelling is to spoil (or at least to interfere with) the labelled one’s fun—which immediately turns the labeller into the very thing of which s/he would accuse the other.

  • Roelf Pretorius says:

    We as voters must just start to learn that our votes exist to shape our future, not to show our appreciation for the entertainment value of the politicians. Far too many voters actually vote according to the last value; just think of how popular Jacob Zuma was for a good part of his reign as State President, all because he could sing “uMachini Wami” on the political stage, and make nice promises that he did not have the slightest intention of keeping. And Julius Malema became prominent on the political scene in the time that Zuma was so influential as a result of that. So can we really blame him for doing all this mischief? We as voters should shape up and take responsibility for our futures ourself, and have less sympathy or time for those who want to manipulate us in the abovementioned ways so they can get their hands on the public purse. But fortunately many voters have already shown that they do understand it; after all Ramaphosa is not an entertainer; he likes to apply common sense and has shown that, and he is far more popular than the entertainers and nationalists in the ANC. But those millions that have not learnt the lesson has to do so before things really get ugly in SA. And we that understand this have to prompt the others to also get to understand this.

  • Thabo Moloi says:

    You seem to be very obsessed with Julius. In youth eyes he’s just an s+hole

  • Jack Claxton says:

    Two observations:

    1. Julius Malema does not warrant the effort to have a 50 line poem dedicated to him.
    2. There were ultimately some redeeming qualities to the ‘Grinch’. Malema has none. An association of Malema with the Grinch erroneously suggests that, maybe, he does.

  • Elroy Bramwell says:

    You keep the guy in the limelight, as if he should be. He’s the loudmouth everyone should ignore. Focusing on the weather is a more astute option.

  • The Grinch saw his folly
    Malema does not,
    The Grinch became jolly
    Malema a tin pot.
    The bigot Malema
    Is our sad dilemma.

  • The Grinch saw his folly
    Malema does not,
    The Grinch became jolly
    Malema a tin pot.
    The bigot Malema
    Is our sad dilemma.
    May 2024,
    Bring him crashing to the floor!

  • Richard Blake says:

    Hopefully Malema will choke on KFC drumstick next year. The world will be a much better place without him.

  • Robert Morgan says:

    Juju ‘flip flop’ Mal-enema is far too munificent with other people’s money to be labelled Grinch-like. A psychopath like Jules loves the trappings of high fashion – he’s a proper label queen. Purporting to be of the people, his private life tells a different story altogether. Anyone who falls for this schizophrenic fraudster’s bull only has themselves to blame.

  • Denise Smit says:

    just remember the voters of DM voted for Malema, thanks Marianne , very entertaining. He is also the villian of the year

  • William Dryden says:

    Malema should not wear overalls of any colour as he couldn’t even make a good gardener, he is an oxygen thief.

  • Johan Buys says:

    Please stop giving this fool publicity

  • This is exactly why I’m going to vote for EFF in 2024😂thanks for informing me once more of how desperate daily maverick is that they would even write an entire article about Julius on Christmas Eve🤣how sad.

    This one is for Pauli Van Wyk:

    The EFF is going to make your chest pains worse, you failed time and time again in VBS and even refused to show up to the EFF VBS interrogation. You know that 2024 is out 1994, Vote EFF 2024❤️🖤💚

    • Con Tester says:

      By all indications, the author of this glee-laden splurge of obtuseness and immaturity is representative of the average EFF voter. Pope Julius is ecstatic to have such pliable toadies.

      • Joe van Wyk says:

        Con Tester, you should realise that these creatures of identical simious mentality usually congregate in the closest proximity. They communily suffer from the psychological phenomenon of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, namely that they do not know that they do not know!

  • alex alexander says:

    It is sad to notice that none could see the humour and acknowledge the excellent creative writing of the article. Me think that South Africans in general are far too serious to enjoy the humorous side of life in our beautiful country and prefer to view everything with suspicion and negativity. With the dawn of the New Year only a few sleeps away, I really hope that positivity and enjoying of our country will be top of the list of new years’ resolution for the commentators to this article. The alternative of course is to go outside. greet your neighbours in a joyful way and get a huge shot of the Happy Vitamin D, that only the Sun can provide of which our beautiful country have plenty of, and it is FREE as well. As Wayne Dyer said, ”IF YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS, THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT CHANGE” Try it, it works all the time. All the best for the Festive Season and a Happy New Year to all.

    • Con Tester says:

      With the exception of you, of course.

      • alex alexander says:

        Thanks! Unfortunately one swallow does not make a summer. I sense a fair amount of aggression, negativity and animosity in your comment. You should really change the way you look at things – a daily double dose of the happy Vitamin D from the sun, will do the trick. Try it, it’s free. I wish you a Prosperous, Positive and Happy 2024.

  • Lesley Young says:

    I am planning to launch a new party called “The Real EFF” (Equality For February”. Why do January and March each have 31 days and February only 28?? (Shut up leapyearists). January and March must each give a day to February so all three have 30 days. Equality at last.

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