The silent epidemic
November is Movember – a worthy initiative where men, as part of a global awareness campaign, grow moustaches to spark conversations about men’s health issues. Not only does this initiative focus on physical health (highlighting cancers and other illnesses that affect men) but it also focuses on mental well-being, often described as the “silent epidemic” among the South African male population.
The statistics are staggering: the WHO ranks South Africa eighth among countries with the highest suicide rates.
And in 2022 alone, 10 861 of the 13 776 reported suicides in South Africa were committed by men.
Yet, though at significantly higher risk than women, men are far less often diagnosed with or treated for depression.
Dangerous stereotypes
Some of the main reasons men hesitate to speak out are rooted in societal expectations and set ideas about male identity and masculinity. Boys are raised to “not cry or behave like girls” (in itself a harmful stereotype for both men and women).
Expressing emotions such as sadness, despair and thoughts of self-harm are, especially in more conservative and traditional communities, wrongly labelled as signs of weakness. “Real” men are expected to be “strong” – the stoic and dependable protector and provider for those perceived as physically and emotionally weaker.
The fact of the matter is that, as the statistics clearly show, our life partners, husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers are in crisis. But how can we help them break free from this life-threatening cycle of self-neglect and suffering in silence? Here are a few pointers.
Recognise the signs
Leon de Beer, Deputy Director of the South African Federation for Mental Health, explains in his article Big boys do in fact also cry that “depression in men could look like the polar opposite of what we traditionally think of as depression symptoms.” De Beer points to restlessness, sudden bouts of anger, and irritability. Emotional turmoil can also manifest in physical distress such as chest tightness, digestive problems, loss of libido, headaches, fatigue, and muscle aches.
Some men tend to engage in increased reckless behaviour, turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, which in turn could escalate into risk-taking, self-destructive actions and, in some cases, even violence towards others.
De Beer urges women to keep an eye on the men in their lives and recognise prolonged behavioural changes, such as frequent outbursts or drinking excessively.
Other symptoms include difficulty concentrating, memory problems, obsessive-compulsive thought patterns, restlessness, and sleep issues. Emotional withdrawal from family and friends, as well as a loss of interest in hobbies and work, are also prominent warning signs.
How you can show support
- Initiate discussions about mental health. Set aside time to check in with one another. Be patient, as it may take some time for him to admit that he is struggling.
- Listen attentively by moving away from your own experiences and reacting to his opinions and input.
- Lead by example. If you are currently in therapy, ask him to join one of your sessions as an observer. Seeing you benefit from professional help can put the process in a more positive light, spark interest, and seem less intimidating.
- Suggest stress-busting activities for both of you, such as restorative yoga or boxing classes (a great way to release anger and frustration).
- Incorporating mindfulness in your daily routine is a healthy and non-judgmental way to acknowledge feelings and thoughts.
- Encourage him to eat well and exercise (preferably outdoors in the morning sun for an instant mood boost), since a healthy body is crucial for a healthy mind.
- Urge him to spend time with and stay connected to close friends and family. Many studies have shown that stronger social ties lower depression severity and lead to faster recovery. Even social sports like padel or other group activities are proven ways to improve mental health.
- Opt for a medical aid that provides sufficient cover for therapy and psychiatric medicine. Medihelp provides extensive cover (even on hospital plans) for more than 250 predefined conditions, including major affective disorders (such as bipolar depression), substance abuse rehabilitation programmes, and acute anxiety, mood, and personality disorders. Choose a plan that offers adequate cover for your individual needs.
Changing perceptions
We live in an era where mental health is more openly discussed than ever before. This is partly due to documentaries featuring male celebrities such as Robbie Williams and Nick Cave, who courageously shine the spotlight on their own personal struggles.
Despite this, and given that men account for an overwhelming majority of suicides worldwide, it remains clear that views on mental health need to be drastically revised.
Here, women – as mothers – also play a significant role in bringing about change. Teaching our boys that recognising and expressing emotion (particularly sadness) is normal and healthy is crucial. In the end, raising emotionally intelligent and resilient sons may just be the best preventive step of all. DM
Author: Maritha Broschk, for Medihelp