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Balancing dreams and dread: The anxiety around make-or-break final exams

As 17-year-old Nonhlanhla Mashabana balances the pressures of impending finals with the fleeting joy of her matric dance, she embodies the struggle of countless South African students caught in a system that offers more obstacles than opportunities, all while dreaming of breaking the cycle of despair with a degree in hand.
Balancing dreams and dread: The anxiety around make-or-break final exams A graduation class (Photo: Unsplash)

The clock is ticking for 17-year-old Nonhlanhla Mashabana. For months, she’s buried herself in her textbooks. Now, instead of enjoying her matric dance like any teenager should, she can’t shake her anxiety about the make-or-break final exams. 

Exams are just weeks away. In South Africa, the odds are against her: just 12 out of every 100 students who start Grade 1 will ever reach university. As Nonhlanhla prepares for her greatest challenge yet, the question is: Can she overcome a broken education system, or will it bring her down with it? 

When Radio Workshop released

style="font-weight: 400;">Finding the Right Words last year, we met 17-year-old Nonhlanhla Mashabana, a national spelling bee champion from Emalahleni, South Africa. 

Nonhlanhla told us the dictionary was her secret weapon. 

Learning new words helped her cope with stress, and spelling bees provided her with an outlet. However, despite winning numerous competitions, when she reached her final year of high school, Nonhlanhla’s teachers advised her to give up spelling bees to focus on her academic performance.

Nonhlanhla studies for hours on end so that she can pass matric — the final year of high school in South Africa — and get accepted into university. 

But she has something else to look forward to: the matric dance. For many, this is the highlight of the year. Nonhlanhla shines on the special night of her dance, but she struggles to stay in the moment because it’s a reminder that the clock is ticking. 

Nonhlanhla Mashabana in her matric dance dress. (Photo: Supplied)
Nonhlanhla Mashabana in her matric dance dress. (Photo: Supplied)

When asked about the dance, Nonhlanhla said: “My body was in the venue celebrating with everyone, but my mind… I couldn’t stop thinking about finals, like, 11 days before finals, 11 days before finals.”

The data on higher education in South Africa paints a troubling picture of systemic challenges and unequal access. According to Youth Capital, only four out of 100 students who enroll in primary school will graduate with a university degree. 

That’s not because students won’t qualify, but because universities in South Africa are not equipped to handle the number of students who want to attend. As you can imagine, it’s extremely competitive.

Nonhlanhla puts hours into her studies. Her peers elected her as class president. Overall, she’s an exceptional student. But even for her, university entrance is not guaranteed. 

An added stress is that Nonhlanhla will need a scholarship. It’s not just the tuition that’s an expense. She needs money for a place to stay, books, travel, and meals. It’s expensive, and her parents are not in a position to pay. 

Assuming she gets in, Nonhlanhla will be the first in her family to go to university. 

She applied to many institutions to pursue various degrees, ranging from nursing to engineering to education. Nonhlanhla wants to ensure that she keeps all her options open, as a university degree is crucial for finding a job. 

And with youth unemployment rates at 46%, Nonhlanhla wants to do everything she can to ensure she doesn’t become part of this statistic. She says: “You fear that if you don’t go to university, you’re gonna be stuck for the rest of your life.”

Listen to

style="font-weight: 400;">Adulthood is Knocking to find out what happens to Nonhlanhla as she experiences the highs and lows of her matric year. DM

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