Jake White returned to work at the Bulls with a fresh outlook after suffering Covid that possibly led to small intestine failure due to a blood clot, which required emergency surgery.

Nkosi, who went awol for three weeks late last year before being discovered deeply traumatised, at his father’s house in Emalahleni, due to personal issues brought on by mental health problems and anxiety, also returned to Loftus on the same day.

Both have a new perspective on life and their roles in rugby.

“The overflow of support allowed me to find comfort and confidence in that I am no lesser human being for acknowledging and accepting that I am not okay,” Nkosi said on Thursday.

“The support I received allowed me to find my feet again and the only thing I can do now, is to pay it forward so that others can be empowered to know that the sun will rise again, even when it does not look like it.” 

White, a bullish character who lived for rugby, believes the severity of his health has changed his view that sport is a matter of life and death.

“I see things completely differently now,” White acknowledged recently.

“Rugby is fantastic, and working in professional sport and coaching in a league like the United Rugby Championship (URC) is a privilege. I’m still driven to be competitive and I never want to be in a place where I’m doing this job for the sake of it. But, after this experience, I’m working with a completely different framework on how to motivate players, and how to get balance in life.

Bulls Director of Rugby Jake White during the Vodacom Bulls press conference at Loftus Versfeld on November 15, 2022 in Pretoria, South Africa. (Photo by Lefty Shivambu/Gallo Images)

“Life experiences like these really make you grow as a coach. Lying in intensive care, with pipes down your throat, gives you time to think clearly. It’s an experience that has taught me about balance, and how quickly things can change. Rugby isn’t the be-all and end-all, even if you’re as competitive as I am. What that means is that I’m going to be very different as a coach.

“I can now use real-life experience to talk about how quickly it can all be over. I’m going to coach with a focus on playing with a smile — and living it, not just saying it.

“I’m going to actively push that as part of my mantra now, and for the players to genuinely smile because it’s fun, it’s a joy and a privilege to be able to get to play.”

Nkosi’s future unclear

Sbu Nkosi of the Bulls is challenged during the United Rugby Championship match against the Lions at Emirates Airline Park in Johannesburg on 17 September 2022. (Photo: Sydney Seshibedi / Gallo Images)

Although Nkosi is back and the Bulls, through chief executive Edgar Rathbone, make all the right noises, his future still remains unclear. 

Over the course of the past two months after going missing, resulting in the Bulls opening a missing person’s case and opting to go public to assist in locating the star wing, Nkosi has had to subject himself to therapy. 

He will have to continue to attend designated sessions with mental health professionals as part of the protocols laid out for him. While the Blue Bulls Company has been incredibly supportive of Nkosi, it’s not a forgone conclusion that his contract will be honoured, and even less certain if it will be renewed.

Mental health struggles and the impact they have on performance in the workplace are covered by legislation in employment law. The law wouldn’t allow a company to terminate someone’s employment if they had cancer, for instance.

Similarly, termination would not be legal for a mental health problem diagnosis. Anxiety and clinical depression are not fireable offences in and of themselves. But if it were brought on by certain lifestyle choices, it could result in a different outcome.

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“I applaud his bravery to want to get back up and not only that, but to pursue his rugby dream yet again,” Rathbone said. “He is a talented player with plenty to offer the world of rugby, and I am confident that his story now transcends rugby more than it may have before.

“His story inspires many amongst us as the Bulls family and I hope that many South Africans and rugby fans across the globe will look at him and be encouraged to get up and try again whenever they tumble. 

“Sbu has some time to spend with the high-performance team to make sure that his integration into the environment is done accordingly, but there are no better specialists in sports science than those we have working with us. So, I am comfortable that he is in the best hands possible.

“Of course, there is the temptation to want to fast-track things and focus on a return-to-play timeline, but that is not important right now. We are just happy to have him with us and as the process takes care of the business, I am confident that we will see him running out soon.”

There are still a lot of “ifs” and “buts” surrounding Nkosi’s immediate professional future. But as a person, he appears to be in a better space than he was at the time of his disappearance.

‘Thank you’

“I want to say thank you. Thank you to the team, the Bulls family and the people of South Africa who have shown me unwavering support over these last few months,” Nkosi said.

“It took some time, but I am happy that I am back where I belong and that would have never been possible without the love and kindness I have received.

“Rugby has been everything to me but for a while, because of life, I had lost that connection and needed to take time away so that I can find my centre again and rezone.

“Thankfully, the company and team, Edgar [Rathbone] and Jake [White] allowed me that time to be away and it has meant the world of good for me, my family and my health. Not many people get this opportunity and that is not lost on me.

“I come back committed and willing to put in the yards as my way of paying back all the support I received.

“It feels wildly refreshing to be able to say I am back and I am raring to go! The fire within is brewing and I cannot wait to set foot in the stadium again.” DM