With 16 Days of Activism to be commemorated from 25 November to 10 December 2020, a Lavender Hill mother whose five-year-old son was shot and killed has spoken for her longing for the annual campaign to make a difference to the lives of women and children.

Romana Grootetjie, mother of murdered Valentino, say she needs psychiatric help. (Photo: Vincent Cruywagen)

The international campaign is aimed at highlighting the high incidence of gender-based violence globally and in South Africa, described by President Cyril Ramaphosa as the country’s “second epidemic”.

Romana Grootetjie, 34, mother of murdered five-year-old Valentino Grootetjie, gunned down by alleged gangsters in a backyard in Lavender Hill in December 2o19, said his three-year-old brother who witnessed and survived the shooting, was in urgent need of psychological help.

She too needed counselling as she could not bear to be near or in the backyard in Drury Flats where she lives as it is a constant reminder of the bloody scene she found shortly after her son had been fatally shot in the head. 

Valentino’s three-year-old brother, Sanrico, whose life the boy saved when he pushed him out of harm’s way, could not stop talking about his brother’s death, said his mother.

Grootetjie told Maverick Citizen that since the death of her son she has struggled to come to terms with it. Getting over it was the hardest part, but being forced to live where the tragedy occurred exacerbated the trauma.

On the day of the shooting, a family member had been sitting in the yard with a woman whose cousin was a member of the Mongrels gang who allegedly sold drugs in the area.

Two members of the Fast Guns raced toward the yard and indiscriminately fired shots. In the eerie silence that followed, Valentino and his two-year-old brother, who were hiding in a “hokkie”, ran out shouting “mommy, mommy”. 

At that moment the gunmen turned back and fired shots while Valentino pushed his younger brother to safety. Valentino was fatally wounded by a bullet to the head.

Dad Patrick Kotze, three-year-old Sanrico and mother Romana Grootetjie are battling to come to terms with the murder of their son. (Photo: Vincent Cruywagen)

“The toughest part is walking every day past the yard where he lay in a pool of blood. Every time I walk into that yard is like seeing his body over and over again lying on the floor. We have washed away the bloodstain, but I cannot erase the bloody picture from my head,” said the distraught mother.

The family now preferred to spend time in a parking lot outside their home.

“I’m also struggling with Sanrico, who survived the shooting. Every day he talks about what happened and the shooting. He saw everything happening and continuously talks about ‘in die kop geskiet en uit by die wang’ (shot in the head and out at the cheek).”

In an effort to help Sanrico, his mother has since removed all plastic toy guns from the house, but she said she could not stop him from constantly talking about witnessing his brother’s traumatic death.

“I don’t need a social worker. I need a psychiatrist who can help my child and help me to get my mind straight and get the memory of the yard out of my head,” she explained.

On 22 June 2020, Valentino would have celebrated his sixth birthday. 

It was a month, said his mother, during which she experienced emotional distress with regular outbursts, including at family members. She said she had felt “fury” at everyone. 

While dealing with her own personal pain and tragedy, Grootetjie said she was aware of the potential of the 16 Days of Activism, held from 25 November to 10 December, to highlight endemic violence.

“This is a very important campaign and it means that men must stop what they are doing to our women and children. The children are our future because the day when we are not there, they are supposed to take over the baton. The campaign couldn’t save my little boy, but I hope it will save the lives of other women and children,” she said.

Lavender Hill residents who are held hostage by gangs have spoken of how they hoped the daily threat would one day be neutralised and that safer environments could be created for communities.

Pastor Dorothy Soetwater said gangsters have a hold over children in Lavender Hill. (Photo: Vincent Cruywgen)

Local community pastor, Dorothy Soetwater, said that Valentino’s mother was in urgent need of help, adding that she would engage the Department of Social Development and other role players to see if they could assist the traumatised mother and child. 

She also provided a grim overview of the harsh realities of life in Lavender Hill and how gangsters have scant regard for pastors who hold open-air services in the community.

“Gangsterism is terrible in our area. Gang members stand at the gates of schools and watch the learners when they leave school. That is how they lure our children into their web. The young children are the ones running with guns in Lavender Hill and not the adult gangsters.”

Soetwater said she had spoken to many of these children who had told her they did not want to be gangsters, but had “no other option”. MC