There are way more than two websites that celebrate the sophisticated ouvre of Chuck Norris, but only two seem to do it with the zeal and professionalism of the man himself. The first is chucknorrisfacts.com and the second is chucknorrisjokes.net. On the first you have biographical details like "According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday," "Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun," and "Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas." On the second you have one-liners like "Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris", "Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin, its descendants are known as giraffes" and "Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas."
Okay, so maybe the two sites are linked. Maybe neither of them take Chuck as seriously as they purport to. Maybe, if they did, they'd know that Chucky's birthday is on Wednesday, and, like The Daily Maverick, they'd wish him a happy one.
Charles Ray Norris was born on March 10th 1940 in Ryan, Oklahoma, a descendant of Irish immigrants and native Cherokee Indians. His childhood was marred by limited athletic ability and poor social skills, a misery exacerbated by the abuse he sustained at school for his mixed blood. He daydreamed as a boy of making his tormentors pay, so after graduation, when he joined the United States Air Force and was posted to South Korea, he studied the martial art of Tang Soo Do and earned the nickname Chuck (!). On his return to America, he held the Professional Middleweight Karate champion title for six consecutive years.
It's not known whether Chuck ever went back to Ryan to roundhouse kick his schoolboy tormentors into yesterday. What is known, however, is that in 1969 he made his acting debut in Dean Martin's The Wrecking Crew. His big break as an actor came in 1972, when he played the role of Bruce Lee's nemesis in the classic martial arts movie Way of the Dragon, renamed Return of the Dragon for US distribution. In the opinion of many commentators, the final-scene fight between the two masters - set, modestly, in Rome's colosseum - is the best ever captured on film. There are no wires or acrobatics, and it was the first time Lee had full creative control as producer and director. Norris is still revered across Asia primarily for this film, and specifically for the final fight.
Watch: Bruce Lee vs Chuck in Way of the Dragon. (Hint: Chuck was paid to get beaten, well, killed. But Chuck being Chuck, he’s got 17 lives and counting. Unlike Bruce Lee.)
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