In this excerpt from the book, chapter nine, Gloria Tomatoe Serobe explains how Winnie created a network of kindness and support around her, one that shaped her life in remarkable ways.

Gloria Tomatoe Serobe at a book signing. (Photo: Jamela Photography)

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My mother-in-law, Winnie Serobe, was not your average woman. She did not surrender to the indoctrination of a racialised South Africa. She was strong, resilient and determined, yet she was not aggressive. She found the path of least resistance to achieve what was best for the greater good. 

My brother-in-law, Lazzy, says that Mama, with her natural inclination towards the path of least resistance and diplomacy, could have been the South African embodiment of Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. 

She was not a petite woman; she loved life, laughed a lot, had a sense of humour, was generous, caring, and progressive. Her ability to laugh was something almost everyone who encountered her noticed and appreciated. Again, Lazzy is of the view that it is this quality, above all else, that helped her to overcome the various trials she encountered during her life. 

She was also a humble woman. She was willing to receive, as much as she gave. For instance, she did not have a very complicated dress sense and when I started to work, I would sometimes buy her clothes to wear. It was a source of joy for me that when she was invited to any special event or occasion, we would go shopping together. 

Mama was a qualified nurse and midwife. She had completed all her training at the Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital in Johannesburg. While in Johannesburg she lived with her aunt, Rebecca Kotane, the wife to one of South Africa’s struggle heroes, Moses Kotane. Mam Mpini recalls her special relationship with her aunt, remembering that she referred to her as mangoane. 

As I pay homage to Mama, it will become evident that while her name may not necessarily feature in any of the pages of a history book, she was as much a heroine of the people as any other. She just chose to do it differently. 

Her weapons in this fight to build a more equitable and fairer society were in the way she contributed to her community, the way in which she delivered healthcare services, and mostly, the way she supported education as an enabler of freedom of choice and a better life. 

Coming from an activist home, my mother-in-law was always deeply rooted in her community and contributed as much as she could, wherever she could. This included, amongst others, the YWCA, Ikageng Women’s Club, Black Consumer Union, Housewives League, Zamani Sisters, the South African National Council for the Blind, Quakers, the Cancer Association and Family Planning, and old age homes. 

While she was still teaching me the ways of ukukoti- za (induction as a makoti) at home, she directed most of my energy towards this community work, taking me along and sometimes having me drive her to and from these meetings. I would often find myself serving tea and scones or even taking minutes in some of the meetings. 

Mam Mpini recalls us saying that we were inseparable. She says we even looked alike going about our business. Ausi Nkele, to whom I will refer in more detail later, describes us as two peas in a pod, remembering our deep love and respect for each other. I also smile remembering these times and some of our escapades. 

One of her biggest projects was the Ikageng Women’s Club in Diepkloof A, Soweto, of which Mama was a founding member. Through this we worked with people who were vulnerable and in need of assistance. The project had 28 branches nationally and Mam Winnie led them all. Mam Mpini spoke of Mam Winnie’s ability to teach people to share whatever they had. At the same time, she demonstrated the ability to stand up and fight for those who were not able to do that for themselves. Unfortunately however, Ikageng did not survive as a non-governmental organisation (NGO). 

Through our work and various projects, I met and became very close to other leaders in the community, for instance, Mam Ellen Kuzwayo (YWCA and Zamani Sisters), Mme Joyce Seroke (YWCA), Mme Sally Motlana (Housewives League), Mam Nonia Ramphomane (Black Consumer Union), Mme Mamokgata (Zamani Sisters), Dr Hammer (Head of the Family Planning Association), Dr Layman (Cervical Cancer Association), Mme Albertina Sisulu, Betty Wolpert and Jane Moores in the United Kingdom. 

It is only much later that I understood what a privilege it was to be at the epicentre, working with Mama, amongst what now turns out to be some of the most powerful and influential female stalwarts of the struggle for South Africa’s freedom and liberation. 

While the role of these women is without dispute, for me, personally, I had ‘mothers’ in every part of Gauteng and Tshwane. Not only had my mother- in-law taken me in as her own, each of the women I encountered did the same. I was a dearly loved makoti in all of these houses. 

Mama’s generosity was abundant. She had connected me to her own networks and, in so doing, she had built me a village of support, mentorship and leadership! Most importantly, she had introduced me to community work in a very deep and meaningful way. 

The Gloria Serobe who is successful in business and a community activist was born in these meetings and interactions. 

I am because they were. 

Had these ladies not taken time to shape and mentor me, I may not be the person I am today. DM

An Ode to My Mother-In-Law, Winnie Serobe: A Mentorship of Love and Honour, can be found at all good bookstores nationwide, as well as Exclusive Books, Takealot, Loot. The book is published by TMP Publishers.