FOOD PARCELS
Tannie Maria’s Love Advice and Recipe Column: Tannie Kuruman’s Melktert
Sally Andrew is the author of a series of Tannie Maria murder mysteries set in the Klein Karoo. In this monthly column, Daily Maverick collaborates with the (fictional) Karoo Gazette to share some of Tannie Maria’s stories, letters and recipes.
MAMA MARIA!
QUEEN OF THE LOVE ADVICE AND RECIPE COLUMN OF THE KLEIN KAROO GAZETTE
You have much help for the people who write to you and I am glad. I can give help for love and other problems. I have herbs and powers from God that can help with:
*Love remote control *Bring back lost lover in 1 hour *To lock lover not to fool around and to be at your feet and listen to you only *Evil spirits and tokoloshes *Sexual problems in all sizes you want *Big and strong manhood enlargement 20 or 30cm – results in 40 minutes *Powerful lotto and casino lucky ring *Short boys/rats to bring money into your account *Magic stick to finish unfinished job *All diseases and pregnancy *Pig lice *Magic wallet attracts money and jobs *Clear debt in 1 hour *Sendwana oil protection *Rainbow water for luck *Bad dreams and bewitching from the dead *All other problems and wishes
Come to Mama Bolo and you will be helped.
100% GUARANTEED. PAY ONLY WITH SATISFACTION
She gave a cell phone number.
My own problems were covered by ‘Sexual problems of all sizes’ and ‘Bad dreams and bewitching from the dead’. If I had not already phoned the satanic mechanic that morning, who knows? I might have called her.
I carried on reading the letter. She didn’t have a love problem of her own, but she did want recipe advice …
Mama Maria,
I am asking your help to cook pudding with milk. I did get a cow as payment from a very satisfied customer. I gave the cow rainbow water to drink and it makes too much milk. I can make nice sour cream and cream cheese, but I want some sweet things also. You Afrikaans mamas know how to make nice milk and cheese puddings. Tell me some.
Thank you and God bless you
MAMA BOLO
EXPERT AND QUEEN OF MUTI
I gave the Queen of Medicines Tannie Kuruman’s melktert recipe. I’ve tasted many milk tarts, and Tannie K’s is the most excellent. And I also gave Mama Bolo the recipe for the best cheesecake in the world – which my friend Candy from New York had sent me. Just thinking about it made my tongue want to melt in my mouth.
***
Tannie Kuruman’s Melktert
Before Sally Andrew found the perfect recipe, she made one that was rather disgusting, but she found a good way to make good use of it.
Crust
- 1¼ cups cake flour
- ¹⁄³ cup icing sugar
- ¼ t salt
- ½ cup cubed butter (125 g), softened
- 2 egg yolks
Sift the flour, icing sugar and salt together.
Add the butter and egg yolks and cut into the flour with a knife. Using your fingers, knead very gently until the butter is mixed in. Wrap the dough in cling film and leave to rest for 30 minutes in the fridge.
Roll out the dough on a floured surface and fit into a well-greased 24cm pie dish.
Prick the base with a fork.
Bake for 15–20 minutes at 200 ºC.
Filling
Ingredients A
- 2 cups milk
- 1 T butter
- Pinch of salt
- 2⁄³ cup sugar
Ingredients B
- 1 cup milk
- 2 T cake flour
- ¼ cup corn starch
Ingredients C
- 2 eggs
- 1 t vanilla extract
Topping
Cinnamon sugar
Heat ingredients A (2 cups milk, butter, salt and sugar) in a saucepan, stirring until the sugar has dissolved.
Mix ingredients B (1 cup milk, flour and corn starch) in a bowl, and pour A onto B.
Mix well and return to the saucepan.
Cook the mixture, stirring all the time, for about 5 minutes until it has thickened and the floury taste has gone.
Beat ingredients C (eggs and vanilla extract) in a bowl. Slowly whisk the hot mixture into C and mix well. Return to the saucepan and cook gently until thick (2–3 minutes).
Pour the custard into the baked pastry crust and let it cool and set. Sprinkle on lots of cinnamon sugar before serving.
Tips
To make cinnamon sugar, mix equal parts of ground cinnamon and brown sugar.
You can dust the top of the milk tart with just cinnamon instead of cinnamon sugar. DM/ ML/ TGIF
Recipes for Love and Murder, A Tannie Maria Mystery. By Sally Andrew
This letter and Tannie Maria’s recipe are an excerpt from Recipes for Love and Murder. This sublime melktert recipe came to Tannie Maria’s author, Sally Andrew, from Martin Mossmer’s great-great-grandmother, Ouma Alie Visser. You can buy Sally Andrew’s books here.
Darn Tannie, this looks good, real good. But you know, right now, i am simply dying for a half chicken, hot, from Nando’s. Been 14 years since I have had such, living 200 kilometers from the nearest Nando’s. This is not an advert…simple craving, such as I now have for your melktert
Coen, after being deprived for 14 years you will be disappointed with the product. I’d stick with a home braaied peri-peri chicken home baked peri-peri potato wedges and some oh so delicious melktert. At least you can buy good wine from local producers if all else fails.
Hi Charles, never have I ever been disappointed with one of your comments. Not being an expert cook, I have to rely on the internet to try and at least have some resemblance of a good meal. Speaking of peri-peri, there is a great, easy recipe at Food 24 for Beef Stroganoff, which I enjoy with spaghetti, not rice. Google Food24, ask for “easy Beef Stroganoff” and the very first one. Only 5 ingredients, but boy oh boy, it is great. Thx for your tip on Peri-peri chicken. But share your view on good wine.
The Beef Stroganoff sounds delicious and only five ingredients is about my limit. Unfortunately I’ve had to curb my wine intake because it became too much of a good thing. I used to be almost exclusively a red wine drinker but ten years ago my taste changed and I now drink mainly Sauvignon Blanc. There’s nothing wrong with a reasonably priced bottle such as Diemersdal but a nice Pinoit Noir doesn’t get passed me either.
I meant to say thanks for that comment and guidance on where to find recipes. Some published aren’t too shabby either.
Tannie, I am from Montagu, klein karoo, but still a bit far from Kuruman