A dingy cabin on the HMS Beagle in the 1830s. I can think of nothing better than flitting about the world pre-globalisation, unravelling life’s mysteries and being a fly on a young Charles Darwin’s wall.

Sleeping. Some people can fall asleep anywhere but with me it’s more a princess and the pea situation.

Bernard Kotze, Daily Maverick’s multi-talented, hard-working, soft-spoken tech wizard. I might have said Gandalf The Grey, were he as proficient in Photoshop.

30 Seconds when I’m winning.

The power to fill things. Empty wallet? Bam! Now you’re balling. Finished your last bottle of lockdown whiskey? Top it up with a snap of your fingers. Sick of Trump talking shit? Presto! Now his mouth’s full of it.

Tim Minchin, Eddie Izzard, Stephen Fry, Yuval Noah and Steve Irwin. Can you imagine what crazy stuff you could dare Steve Irwin to do after a few glasses of wine?

According to my “most-played” on ITunes it’s Kiss by Prince. Happy with that.

Before Daily Maverick I managed parties and music festival logistics. It would probably be that.

If I could take my pick, I’d be my scruffy little scallywag of a dog, Captain Haddock. Captain’s happy when you wake him up and he’s happy when you put him to sleep. He loves when you take him out and he loves coming home. He’s got it made if you ask me.

Those people who give awkwardly long hugs.

A surprise 3 course dinner, laid out on a table I pre-hiked to a secret spot at the top of a mountain.

An assortment of bizarre goodies in a mysterious avocado box.

On a boat trip when I was a teenager, I met a gorgeous Spanish girl. When she told me she spoke French, I jokingly quoted the only French I knew “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? ”. She thought for a moment, and then with a very serious expression, replied, “yes, I want”. Naturally I freaked out, went bright red, and said, “I need to go find my flippers” and then awkwardly fast-walked away.

House keys. What use is a photo album if you can’t get through the front door?

“Advice from people who got lucky and made it is like a lottery. Seek out advice from people who got unlucky and figured things out anyway.”

Please. Please don’t make me.

My dogs stanky bed. At least I’ll get nightly cuddles.

Summer summer summer.

The guy who did the voice for ETV.

Daily Maverick.

Gender Reveal Parties.