For a small town – village, really – at the end of a road along which you have to travel on purpose to get there, McGregor has quite a lot going on.

It’s easy enough to find: turn right (if you’re coming from the Worcester side) at the wine shop (all the local wines at cellar door prices) in Robertson and keep going. You’ll arrive about 20 pretty minutes later. Almost everything you need will be on the main road, which is the one way in and the one way out. If you drive all the way to the very end, there’s a slight hill and the tar gives way to gravel. It’s a bit brutal on the normal car, but if you carry on for 10kms you’ll be rewarded with Lord’s Wines, which makes a fabulous Brute Rose MCC covered in award stickers. Past that and you’ll be heading into the mountains never to be heard from again.

Lord’s is part of the McGregor Wine Meander, a route which comprises seven stops, from Tanagra and Eseltjiesrus donkey sanctuary (because they have wine bottled under their own label, which is inexpensive and cute, plus it supports the old donkeys), to Bemind (a true garagiste) and Solara. Optimistically, it’s suggested you can cycle or walk the trail, but keep in mind the (forthcoming) summer temperatures are not for sissies, even if there is chilled wine at the destination.

A place for peaceful contemplation, Temenos is a cool (in the literal sense of the word) retreat, where you can become one with the ducks and peafowl. There’s accommodation in delightfully quaint self-catering thatched cottages, and the adjoining restaurant, Tebaldi’s, serves breakfast, lunch (Tuesdays to Sundays) and dinner (Wednesdays to Saturdays). You can sit on the patio at the back, which overlooks a rose garden, or in the courtyard in front which faces the main road with all its comings and goings. Oh, or inside of course, where it’s all olde worlde country charm.

The garden at Temenos. Photo: Bianca Coleman

On my most recent visit, I went to At The Courtyard, where they host live music every weekend. It’s owned by an actual musician – Steve Van – and his missus so it’s very supportive of local talent. For a small fee you get dinner (meat or vegetarian) and the performance, or performance only. It’s very popular, and the big names like Arno Carstens, Tim Parr, and Albert Frost appear alongside those you may not have heard of before.

At half time we dashed across the road to Open Kitchen, which is owned by Craig Price. He’s the local wood dealer so his fireplace was crackling and blazing which was the best thing with a side order of pumpkin soup and red wine.

The next morning, breakfast was taken at 51, another popular hangout for the locals, and very dog-friendly (as are most places, because everyone has a pooch). I’m always down (up?) for an omelette and a nice coffee strong enough to climb out the cup and walk around, so that’s what I had – with a porkie on the side. Not completely convinced by the decision to serve this sliced, though. Stabbing the taut skin of a sausage and hearing it snap is a pleasure all of its own.

Omelette with a porkie on the side at 51. Photo: Bianca Coleman

Back in Robertson there’s the “big” town vibe – supermarkets and fast food franchises – so turn right and head towards Ashton (past that monstrosity of the bridge) and eventually Montagu. It’s a gorgeous drive, especially when you get between those mountains, something I’ve never tired of in all the 20-plus years I’ve been making the journey. At the moment there are a couple of ry-gos which seem like they’ve been there about that long, but perhaps only three years. Five? Anyway, take a breath and don’t be in a hurry. You’ll meet plenty of opportunistic vendors of feather dusters and ugly handbags.

As you enter Montagu, there’s a new place on the right: Blu Vines. It’s home to Mimosa Winery, and you can sample those products in the tasting room. The restaurant is a mixture of clean and modern, and lavish and ornate. The food is excellent, and it has the added advantage of performances by the staff in between courses. My friend who introduced me to the place is smitten with the Camembert in phyllo pastry, served with grilled grapes and tomato chilli compote. I tried the pork loin with café de Paris butter, which was tender and moist (why do people hate that word so?), and we shared a Caesar salad.

Pork loin with Cafe de Paris butter at Blu Vines. Photo: Bianca Coleman

Caesar salad at Blu Vines. Photo: Bianca Coleman

The kitchen nicely plated it as two portions and put a soft, runny poached egg on each so we didn’t have to fight over it. Wash down with local wines, and finish with an adult milkshake spiked with alcohol.

Diagonally across the road is the factory shop for Montagu Dried Fruit & Nuts, where you can stock up on these and other items at prices way lower than anywhere else. Look out for almond flour too, which, when it’s in stock, is about R30 to R40 cheaper than retail chains.

A couple of blocks farther, on the right, is Vineyard Country House. It’s a beautiful place to stay, and was introduced to me by owners Lauren and Louise thus: “We are situated on a working farm with a small vineyard and our food footprint is tiny… local honey and preserves… homemade butter and breads… eggs milk and cream from our neighbours… fresh trout from a mountain farm a few kilometres out of town… all delicious and always beautifully presented.”

None of this was a lie, and the breakfasts alone are worth the trip. They also hosted Richard Bosman’s annual charcuterie course this year, with the next one booked for July 24-25, 2020.

Montagu Country Hotel in the town proper is another lovely place to spend a few days and nights. It has a Maine Coon cat, classic American dream cars which can be booked to take you on a spin around the nearby wine farms (the hotel will pack you a picnic), and a dining room which is firmly rooted in the past. Here you can expect hearty traditional dishes, and a pianist tickling the ivories while you sup.

By this time, you are on the cusp of the famous Route 62 and at the gateway to the Klein Karoo. Your next stop will be Barrydale, where you absolutely have to visit Diesel & Crème for the best and craziest milkshakes, and a wonderland of vintage décor that will have you spiralling down a rabbit hole.

The Barrydale Karoo Art Hotel is an institution and scene of many debauched weekends. I speak for myself, of course, and a few others whose identities I have no need to protect. At the moment, it’s hosting weekly Muscadel dinners prepared by guest chefs and foodies every Saturday, leading up to the inauguration of the Muscadel Museum at the hotel on October 12, 2019.

Route 62 will take you most of the way to Port Elizabeth if you’ll allow it – it joins the N2 near the massive wind farm outside Jeffreys Bay, after an awe-inspiring drive through the seemingly endless Langkloof – but if you’re pressed for time, make one more stop at the legendary Ronnie’s Sex Shop for a brandy and Coke. It’s the only way to go. DM