--- title: "Extra! Extra! Read all about it — the clever and weird headlines of 2022" description: "Mike Wills cherry-picks the best and the strangest headlines of the year." type: "OpinionNewsArticle" publisher: "Daily Maverick" site: "https://www.dailymaverick.co.za" section: "Opinionistas" author: "Mike Wills" author_url: "https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/author/mike-wills/" canonical_url: "https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2022-12-20-extra-extra-read-all-about-it-the-clever-and-weird-headlines-of-2022/" published: "2022-12-20T21:31:29" updated: "2022-12-22T11:37:33" lang: "en-ZA" word_count: 678 --- # Extra! Extra! Read all about it — the clever and weird headlines of 2022 > Mike Wills cherry-picks the best and the strangest headlines of the year. By Mike Wills · Published 20 December 2022, 23:31 SAST · Updated 22 December 2022, 13:37 SAST ## Content As I have bemoaned in these virtual pages, headlines aren’t what they used to be. The demise of the crusty sub-editors who made them an art form, and digital media’s pervasive need to bait clicks, has made a clever, seductive headline a rare creature. But they’re still to be found. #### **Five best headlines of the year** “Honey I shrunk the quids”*— The Daily Star* (UK), after short-lived UK Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng’s mini-budget crashed the pound. “Tubular gels”— *The Economist* on a new gel-based method for vasectomies. “The Thane, Insane, slays mainly in Dunsinane”— *The New York Times’* review of ‘The Tragedy of Macbeth’ “Florida man makes announcement”*— New York Post* reports Donald Trump’s decision to run again in 2024. “Rory’s left to mullet over”*— metro.co.uk* after Cam Smith, with a spectacular mullet, beat Rory McIlroy at the British Open golf. Aside from the good stuff, I have also collected for you some of the downright weirdest headlines of the year. #### **Top five from*****The Guardian*****(UK)** “Giant New Zealand potato is not in fact a potato, Guinness World Records rules” “Call to tighten New Zealand law that allows public pooing if no one watching” “Taste the TV: Japan invents lickable screen to imitate food flavours” “Norwegian conscripts told to return underwear as Covid hits supplies” “BBC apologises after ‘Manchester United are rubbish’ appears on ticker” #### **Top five from*****The Daily Mail*****(UK)** *“*Father who ‘hasn't stopped breaking wind since he ate a ham roll at a Christmas market five years ago’ sues for £200,000” “Etiquette expert reveals the elegant way to eat a Flake bar without getting crumbs of chocolate everywhere using the ‘suck’ method” “[Angry McDonald’s customer BLOCKADES the drive-through for two hours in stalemate row over sausage egg McMuffins before being forced to leave by police”](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10842591/Police-escort-angry-McDonalds-customer-away-drive-blocked-TWO-HOURS.html) “102-year-old great grandmother who says you should ‘live one day at a time’ reveals her secrets to a long life, including tequila shots, Jägerbombs, sausage rolls and Dominos pizza” “International Chess Federation accuses world No. 1 player of tarnishing game’s reputation by quitting match against fellow grandmaster, over fears rival was using vibrating anal beads to cheat” --- **Visit [*Daily Maverick's* home page](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za?utm_source=direct&utm_medium=in_article_link&utm_campaign=homepage) for more news, analysis and investigations** --- #### **Top five health advice headlines** “How to eat your way to a tighter vagina” (citizen.co.za) “Why you should probably not use hand sanitiser on your genitals” (*iol.co.za*) *“*National Park Service Asks Visitors to Please Stop Licking Toads*”* (*New York Times*) “Japan tells its young people to drink more alcohol” (The New York Times) “‘My daughter warned me’: Northern Ireland woman on verge of going blind after tattooing her eyeballs”(iol.co.za) #### **‘What’s that got to do with business?’ headlines from*****businessinsider.co.za*** “If you haven’t bought your Easter marshmallow eggs yet, then it sucks to be you” “Here are our favourite matching pyjama sets for the whole family this Christmas” “A carving of a man holding his penis is the earliest known depiction of a narrative ‘scene’” “Donald Trump shares Truth Social photo proclaiming him as second only to Jesus” And in other news “When the Queen Died, Someone Had to Tell the Bees” (*New York Times*) “It wasn't the crocodile’s fault, says KZN wrangler who was bitten during live show” (*news24.com*) “Useless wedding planner gets drunk at wedding and makes out with groomsman”*(iol.co.za)* “I keep forgetting my Tesco clubcard so I got QR code tattooed on my arm” (*thesun.co.uk*) “Putin thanks Russian Santa Claus for presidency”(*news24.com*) “‘Jesus Christ’ gets verified on Twitter thanks to Elon Musk”(*citizen.co.za*) #### **Headline apology of the year** “KFC Apologizes for Linking Chicken Promotion to Kristallnacht”(*New York Times*) #### ***news24.com*****headline questions that no one has ever asked** “Are Albert Einstein and Shia Labeouf related? Here’s proof that they could be!” “Which came first? King Charles or the egg?” #### **Headline question of the year***(iol.co.za)* “Why are stadiums still empty when people are smoking and having sex? asks Benni McCarthy” **DM**