When I finished matric, my 17-year-old self thought that I wanted to be a lawyer and so I dutifully applied to and was accepted at the University of Pretoria, even though I had not put much energy or effort into entering the noble profession.
However, it was not to be, because I failed that first year of varsity, much to my horror, as I had never failed anything in my life. But with honest introspection, I realised that my heart was not really in it, neither did I have the discipline required at the time to give it an honest shot. I eventually went on to a degree more suited to my latent talent of writing and civil society interests.
Writing had always been a talent that I knew I had, but I had never really thought of making a career out of it. I relegated it to only being used as a means of expressing my angst, as well as a creative outlet for my observations of the world. When I think about it, at the time I was not exposed to tangible opportunities to develop and become a writer whose writing would sustain me. I never knew that it would become a central part of my contribution to our society and that it would lead me into work that is not only meaningful but key to the values I imbibed as a child of pursuing social justice and equality.
I am not ashamed of my first year of university failure because what it did was steer me away from a course that was not for me at the time and towards where I was meant to be. It was also a learning that I was not being mindful or intentional in my academic and career aspirations. I, of course, do not take for granted that I had the support of family who did not admonish me but allowed me to fail, while insisting that I had to be failing forward, meaning that I had to learn from failing and make better decisions in future. I feel this is one of the greatest gifts that young people today can be given – a chance to fail forward.
Oprah Winfrey once said that “failure is just information and an opportunity to change your course”.
I may at some point go back to law, fortified by my experience of failure and having learnt the lesson.
What I believe, though, is that at any stage in life we must be willing to let go of the things that sound like a good idea but are ill-fitting, and not chastise ourselves. Seventeen-year-old me and 40-year-old me are all the better for it. DM168
Zukiswa Pikoli is a journalist at Maverick Citizen.
This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R25.
No education is ever wasted. Life experiences are the fabric of what you be and what you become.
Spot on. I became an Engineer by mistake; if I could have it all over, my 35-year-long career would look very different.