If you’re someone who simply and unwaveringly does not ‘believe’ that transgender, non-binary and gender non-conforming people exist and deserve baseline human dignity, then perhaps read no further. What you are about to experience is an all-out assault on the head-scratching befuddlement of those who struggle with pronouns that go beyond the boundaries of she/her and he/him.

So, if your sense of humour is as scant as Jordan Peterson’s hairline (pre-hair transplant) and your fuse for the liberal agenda is as short as Ben Shapiro’s 15 minutes of middling political fame, then consider this your unwarranted trigger warning. To the rest, let’s have some fun.

Many consider the rise of gender non-conforming identities into our mainstream social and cultural consciousness as a “youth” phenomenon. That monolithic brand of youngsters, roughly born in the ballpark of Gen Z, suddenly broke gender like a blue and pink vase because we were bored and utterly unencumbered.

If you were born before 1990, I know what you might be thinking. This generational fad is the product of a wave of mentally ill toddlers who haven’t worked a day in their lives. Toddlers who are so self-absorbed with an upbringing on social media that they think they can play God with their gender and twist language to their whims – or something to that effect.

In reality, there’s nothing generational about gender outside of the binary. If anything, we, “the youth”, are standing on the shoulders of giants much older and wiser than us.

Ideas of gender performativity and the subversion of gender identity were controversially made popular in 1990 by Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble. Back in 1949, in her book The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir famously said, “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman”, thus inadvertently challenging how we conceive of gender construction and distinguishing between sex and gender.

Before Western philosophers had to bring gender fluidity into the academic realm, black and brown people across multiple cultures on this very continent understood genders outside of the binary in pre-colonial times.

Queer people, particularly queer people of colour, have been bending gender like Beckham since before the seminal Stonewall Riots of 1969. (Yes, that is the only sports-related reference you’ll be getting from me.)

You see, dear boomers, the only thing this hypersensitive generation of liberal youths has done is have the courage to build on what is a very human tradition: to take control of our genders and be our own creators. We, as shocking as it may sound to the hard-of-hearing, are the purveyors of our own identities.

Now, to the more militant grammarians out there: I understand that the thought of referring to one person with the typically plural pronouns of they/them might be the straw that breaks the Nazi’s back. But, the concept of they/them singular pronouns is not entirely new.

For example, it is not uncommon to say: “Somebody left their house keys at the dinner party, and they are definitely going to need them back!” An alternative example that doesn’t ring with the ominous trials of middle-class white suburbia plucked straight from a Jordan Peele script might read: “Someone at the gay club left their poppers in the bathroom, and I hope they know they’re never getting it back!” In fairness, this is still a fairly white example.

The point is they/them pronouns do not radically alter the fabric of the English language. English is not an old institution of perfect rules and flawless etymologies (the spelling of “colonel” and “asthma” never cease to confound).

Perhaps more unusual is the emergence of neo-pronouns, such as xe/xem and ze/hir. If I haven’t lost you by now, I imagine this might be your tipping point. Try to stay with me a little longer.

As I see it, pronouns are an extension of identity and the foremost mechanism to be recognised for that identity by the people around you. We hammer on their importance not because they are absolute but because they must be constructed, adopted, and filled with meaning by the individual who intends to use them.

That is what this is all about: individuality. Hopefully you would want this for your children – I will certainly want it for mine one day. If non-binary pronouns and neo-pronouns can afford someone their divine right to individuality, then that is what we must respect and practise.

Language is not ours to stagnate or weaponise, but rather evolve and make inclusive. If Lord of the Rings nerds can invent a language for elves, it’s hardly a stretch to suggest that we can do the same for the languages we employ in day-to-day life.

In the end, dear boomers, you will die. Specifically, you will likely return to the earth long before my generation. We are amid a gender revolution, a reimagining of control over our most essential selves. Would you prefer to live out your last days in bitter opposition to the changing tides?

Hell, would you prefer not to experience the freedom of gender variance with us?

History has not been kind to those left behind during a revolution. Though we haven’t yet finished the construction of our guillotine, I would imagine you’re already feeling it brushing against your neck (metaphorically, of course). You’ve lived through wars, so I think you can handle a little revolution.

Though I acknowledge the ageist tone of my words, I assure you it’s all in good fun. In all seriousness, deconstructing the shackles of gender and binary pronouns has as much to do with you as it does with children taking their first steps. You have as much to gain from this emancipation as anyone else.

Confusion about non-binary pronouns and neo-pronouns is hardly a capital offence. After all, if I had been born during apartheid, I’d likely also struggle with the idea of inventing a new gendered language – fundamental human rights hadn’t even been developed back then.

So, though stepping outside of the binary of man and woman may be daunting, and the use of pronouns beyond she/her and he/him may trigger linguistic discomfort, it is actually quite simple.

Hopefully, some confusion has been demystified. And you too, our beloved boomers, can take up the mantle with us and have a hand in rewriting language and the history of gender. DM168

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper which is available for R25 at Pick n Pay, Exclusive Books and airport bookstores. For your nearest stockist, please click here.