Mom demands answers after school bullying leads to tragic teen suicide

Nontobeko Mbatha is a mother haunted by grief and searching for answers after her daughter’s death.

In September this year, her 16-year-old daughter, Thembelihle Mbatha, died by suicide. Now Mbatha is trying to make sense of what happened to a child she remembers as bubbly, friendly and loved by many.

“Thembelihle was my firstborn. She was the person others turned to for advice. She was a vibrant, hopeful teenager who loved to laugh and had bright ambitions for her future,” her mother said.

In 2024, Thembelihle moved to Eqinisweni Secondary School in Ivory Park, on the East Rand. The move followed a trauma her family had hoped she could leave behind.

“In 2023, Thembelihle was raped. A case was opened, the perpetrators were arrested, Thembelihle received counselling, and the social workers recommended that she change schools because, at her old school, people knew what had happened,” said her aunt, Nondumiso Mkhize. 

At first, the move seemed to work. 

“She seemed ready to move forward. She believed she could put the past behind her, begin again, and she had worked hard to be strong,” Mkhize recalled.

But early this year, classmates began asking about her past.

“I don’t know how they learned about the assault, but I suspect someone from the old school may have told them. The questions soon turned to taunts, with classmates asking whether she had really been raped or had gone willingly,” Mkhize said.

Mkhize recalled that Thembelihle had once posted a WhatsApp status about the assault.

“She had been trying to own her story and move on, but the past was repeatedly brought back to her by these classmates,” she said.

‘No one was willing to listen’

Despite Thembelihle’s efforts to stay strong, the bullying continued. Her mother said she went to the school one morning to seek help, but no one attended to her.

“I spent hours there, and no one would speak to me; they kept directing me to different teachers, and I did not feel the matter was being taken seriously,” Mbatha said.

What hurt most, she said, was that staff at the school knew why Thembelihle had transferred and that she needed support.

“Yet when I went to the school as a mother asking for help, I felt no one was willing to listen and take this seriously,” she said.

After months of bullying, the situation came to a head in early September. Mkhize said Thembelihle had an altercation with two learners who had been targeting her.

“When the learners reported the incident to a teacher, they portrayed Thembelihle as the aggressor. The school never did a proper investigation into what led to the confrontation or heard Thembelihle’s account,” Mkhize said. 

On 9 September, according to Mkhize, the bullying continued.

“Classmates later told me that Thembelihle had spent hours crying in the school toilet and that not one teacher came to check on her. When she returned to class, she sat down and began writing. Her classmates thought she was writing in a diary. They did not realise it was a suicide letter,” Mkhize said.

Around that time, Thembelihle messaged her mother: “I know I said I’m gonna be strong, but at this point I can’t.”

The report the family is waiting for

In the days after Thembelihle’s death, the family says the school offered no immediate support.

When the principal and teachers eventually visited the family home, Mkhize recalled the principal saying he hadn’t known about the bullying because no one had raised concerns with his office. He promised to investigate and share a report.

After the funeral, Mbatha returned to the school for answers. She said the principal treated the family’s questions as trivial.

“Any time I have spoken to him, it is like he is not taking this seriously. It is very painful, and I can’t understand what is happening,” she said.

By October, the family was still waiting. On 6 October, relatives and community members returned to the school. The principal reportedly said the school would send the report by 8 October. It never came.

When Mkhize contacted the Gauteng Department of Education, she said she was told to await the school’s report first. 

When relatives and friends emailed the school seeking information, Mbatha said the principal told her to stop them.

“Thembelihle was not only my child, but everyone’s child. How can I stop them asking for answers? Even her friends had written to the school because they also need closure,” she said.

As of November, the family is still waiting for the report – the document they hoped would explain what the school knew, what it had done, and whether anyone had been held accountable.

“Honestly, I’m not coping at all. I miss my daughter, and I do not understand how this could have happened. When you can’t get the truth, it’s difficult. Every single morning I wake up expecting to hear her voice,” her mother said.

Daily Maverick sent questions to the Gauteng Department of Education and Eqinisweni Secondary School about the bullying complaints, the school’s response, and the status of the investigation report promised to the family. At the time of publication, neither the department nor the school had responded.

A familiar pattern

The tragedy echoes a dark chapter in the school’s recent history. In 2024, it drew national attention after four learners died by suicide within 10 days. Community members and peers linked the deaths to bullying and a toxic school environment. Then Basic Education minister Angie Motshekga and Gauteng Education MEC Matome Chiloane visited the school amid concerns about learner safety and mental health.

Mkhize said that bullying at the school persisted. At the time of the interview, she said one of Thembelihle’s friends was in hospital after a suicide attempt.

“She had posted on her WhatsApp status that she was tired of being bullied, and said the bullying was from both students and teachers, which is deeply concerning,” Mkhize said.

The family had also been approached by the brother of another learner who died by suicide.

“For me, this shows that what happened to her is not an isolated tragedy. There are reasons to demand that the school’s response to bullying be investigated, because kids are dying there,” Mkhize said. DM

Daily Maverick pursued this story following an email to our tip-off line.