Free to Grow: How parenting initiative helps to break cycles of abuse at home

As South Africa marks Child Protection Week from 29 May to 5 June in the shadow of continued violence against children and women, several Western Cape-based organisations and companies are taking an unusual but increasingly important approach to child safety, helping employees to become better parents.

Through a partnership between the Institute for Security Studies (ISS), the Seven Passes Initiative and agro-processing company Tikketai, employees are taking part in the Free to Grow programme, a 12-week, evidence-informed parenting initiative delivered during working hours at company sites.

The programme focuses on nurturing nonviolent parenting skills while helping working parents to manage stress, regulate emotions and resolve conflict peacefully, both at home and in the workplace. The organisations say the programme is already showing significant results, improving relationships at home and also strengthening workplace productivity and cohesion.

Speaking to Daily Maverick, Tikketai chief executive Burger Gericke said the company initially became involved after noticing rising emotional distress among workers, which was beginning to affect productivity and team relationships.

“Employees were showing obvious warning signs of trauma, high anxiety and an inability to regulate their emotions, frequently resulting in angry or aggressive outbursts. They struggled to maintain focus due to intergenerational cycles of violence and stressful home situations, [which spilled] over into the workplace,” said Gericke.

He said the company structured employee shifts to ensure operations continued while workers attend the programme.

Transforming lives

According to Dr Thandi van Heyningen, a clinical psychologist and senior researcher at the ISS, the programme has transformed family relationships for some participants.

She shared the story of one father whose relationship with his children dramatically improved after attending the sessions.

“He had previously had a very difficult and conflictual relationship with his son, so much so that they did not speak to each ­other. The father was also prone to using physical and verbal aggression towards his children…

“By participating in the programme, his behaviour and attitude towards his children shifted. They responded positively to this shift, and today he has a warm, responsive relationship with his son and other children. It also translated into a different, more positive relationship with his co-workers”

Van Heyningen said the programme’s broader aim is to interrupt intergenerational cycles of violence and trauma affecting families and communities.

Helping parents navigate stress

The programme also addresses the everyday emotional and financial pressures many parents face. Roslynn Damons from the Seven Passes Initiative, who works as a trainer and facilitator in the programme, said many parents initially struggle to speak openly about their personal lives and challenges.

“Children often mirror the emotional responses they see at home. When a parent becomes less aggressive and less emotionally withdrawn, the child… learns healthier ways to express emotions and handle conflict calmly.

“The biggest challenge has been adapting the programme to fast-paced work environments where employees have limited time and may not feel comfortable talking openly about personal or family struggles. Facilitators have had to create safe spaces where participants feel supported and not judged.

“When facilitators model calm communication and healthy emotional responses, parents are more likely to trust the process and apply the skills in their own homes,” said Damons.

The organisations behind the programme stressed that creating emotionally safe homes is central to protecting children from violence. “Children need calm, warm, responsive and firm parents who can set healthy boundaries and make them feel safe. Stressed, angry, aggressive parents or caregivers do not make children feel safe!” said Van Heyningen.

With the programme gaining traction, the ISS is looking to expand Free to Grow into more workplaces, including public sector institutions such as schools.

“There has been interest from the mining sector, banking sector and food processing industry… Attending Free to Grow is not just about learning skills, it’s also about the transformation of how people see, think about and value themselves and others,” said Heyningen.

As South Africa confronts persistent ­violence against children, organisers say programmes such as this one show that protecting children does not begin only with policing or legislation, but also with helping parents heal, regulate emotions and build safer homes. DM

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R35.