After the Bell: Of phone chargers and Greenland

One of the enduring frustrations of living with teenagers is the way their devices and chargers take up your kitchen.

It’s one thing to have a messy room. I was expecting that and my father still laughs every time he hears me tell one of his grandchildren to please close their cupboard door.

But one of our major kitchen surfaces has just became overrun by chargers and cables.

This is partly because my son and I are happy to go with the more democratic cellphone system, while my wife and daughter insist on sticking with the cult.

I despaired that there would ever be a single charging cable, or set of them, that would satisfy everyone.

But then came a display of real power.

The EU was able to tell Apple to just do what everyone else does and use a USB-C charging system. If you ever thought that Apple was driven by your interests, the fact that they fought against this should disabuse you of that notion.

The EU prevailed over an evil American in that fight. I’m not sure they are going to prevail now.

Donald Trump’s decision to slap tariffs of 25% on eight countries that oppose his ambitions to take over Greenland has already provoked quite a strong response from EU nations.

But getting them to coordinate is going to be almost impossible.

The problem is that his obsession that the US must take over, or annex, or buy Greenland makes absolutely no sense. It isn’t clear to me that this is in the best interests of the US.

And it seems most Americans agree. Polling indicates that most US citizens don’t want their government to take steps to buy or acquire Greenland.

That’s because they see it is just silly

The problem for Europe is obvious. If Trump is able to take Greenland, what next?

Could he decide that once he’s done with Greenland, he may as well ask for Denmark? After all, he could argue it has a strategic location.

Or could he say that because the UK has a similar language and culture to the US, so it should become a state of the US?

If you are hearing the faint ring of history, you would be right. Hitler used exactly the same excuse to seize the Sudetenland in 1938, under the pretext that he needed to unite all German-speaking people.

It’s amazing how quickly the insane quest for Greenland descends into something that is both incredibly scary and slightly farcical.

Bloomberg reported that Trump has sent a letter to the prime minister of Norway, Jonas Gahr Støre, saying that one of the reasons he was going to grab Greenland was because he had not been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

As any teenager knows, Norway’s government plays no role in awarding the prize.

But the text of the letter deserves being quoted: “Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace… Although it will always be predominant, but, now can now think about what is good and proper for the United States of America... The World is not secure unless we have Complete and Total Control of Greenland.”

This is someone who wants his entire cot empty. The problem is, some of the toys that come out of it include armoured divisions and nuclear submarines.

Strangely, having thrown this grenade into the heart of Europe, Trump is now due to speak at the World Economic Forum at Davos tomorrow.

I’m certain he is not going to change his tune because he’s now in Europe. And I’m sure he has no love for a class of people who Samuel Huntington once referred to as "Davos Man”, a group who wanted ever-weaker borders and more globalisation.

Instead, I think he’s going to go there and give his “MAGA speech”.

This might be a moment for Europe’s elite to simply walk out. The image of someone speaking to an empty hall can be incredibly powerful.

If they’re brave enough.

Unfortunately, even if the EU triggers its trade retaliation mechanisms, or tries to send more soldiers to Greenland, I think Trump still wins.

That’s because he wants to create the impression with his voters that it’s the US vs the rest of the world. Like Israel’s leader, Benjamin Netanyahu, he is forcing people to make a completely false choice between “us and them”.

If the EU takes strong action against Trump, or is able to defend Greenland, or even puts up any kind of a fight, that will help him.

And I do mean any kind of a fight.

If you go to MAGA-land and tell them that the Norwegian prime minister has nothing to do with the Nobel Peace Prize, they’ll tell you it’s fake news and you’re attacking Trump.

That’s why people like Trump pick fights like this. Whatever happens, they win.

In the meantime, the last Apple device in my household to use an Apple Lightning charger is due to be retired this year.

The fact that it will be replaced by something that uses a USB-C charger may well be the end of the EU’s real power. DM