Illustrative image: Bottles of whisky. (Photo: Ore Huiying/Bloomberg) | Ronald Lamola. (Photo: Phando Jikelo / RSA Parliament) | Tutankhamun mask.(Photo: Peter Kneffel / EPA) | Pinky Kekana. (Photo: Frennie Shivambu / Gallo Images) 
Alas, we spoke too soon. The minister of international relations, Ronald Lamola, got way better party packs than the minister of agriculture, John Steenhuisen.
So reveals a deeper dive into the recently released National Assembly Register of Members’ Interests, a gift which keeps on giving and an annual ritual not to be underestimated.
Whether or not all has been disclosed, MPs need to feel the heat of accountability breathing down their necks (some might not).
We thought the Steenhuisen had struck it lucky with his 48 bottles of fine wine, biltong and ostrich plumes. But wait till you glide your eyes over Ronald Ozzy (how cool) Lamola’s imaginary barroom shelves.
Liquid diplomacy
In the interests of friendship and diplomacy, the embassy of Zimbabwe gifted Lamola’s office a bottle of Glenfiddich single malt, which was later topped up by another identical bottle from the embassy of Nepal and yet another from Assupol (a funeral policy company which finds itself the butt of a self-evident joke).
Gifted by the embassy of China was a bottle of Ningxia Changyu Longyu 12 dry red wine valued at approximately R690, probably nestling now somewhere near the Ukrainian gift of “a box” of Nemiroff De Luxe Vodka valued at R960, and, from the Philippines embassy in Pretoria, a bottle of Don Papa aged rum.
What will it be?
Not a wide enough selection?
Well feast your eyes (especially friends and acquaintances of Lamola who might have a palate for good liquor and who have not seen him in a while): further libations Lamola declared include bottles of Poliakov Premium Vodka and Chivas Regal 12-year-old whisky valued at approximately R1,400 from the embassy of Yemen (very thoughtful seeing as Yemeni citizens generally don’t drink).
For something stronger that might take off the top of your head, try the embassy of Georgia’s gift of a bottle of Old Twin Pack whisky and a 2017 Telavi Wine Cellar Marani “Satrapezo” Saperavi and Grape Chacha Telavi/Wine Vodka valued at approximately R1,460. Drinking is a great Georgian tradition.
Blessed whisky
A favourite of the local palate is our friend, Johnnie Walker Black Label, a choice blended Scotch whisky valued at approximately R460 and which was gifted to Lamola by the Apostolic Nunciature, which represents the Holy See (otherwise known as the pope). There was no declaration by Lamola whether this bottle was blessed by His Holiness.
Thabo Mbeki might offer to do that and crack the cap with Lamola.
Other than that, the minister scored a cool Mask of Tutankhamun — Egyptian Pharaoh Death Mask valued at approximately R500 from the Egyptian Ministry of Interior, as well as a Gere Villányi Franc Ördögárok Dulo 2017 and Zsolnay Eosin wine stopper (go on, say that out loud) and cufflinks valued at approximately R1,450 from the foreign affairs minister of Hungary.
From the League of Arab States, Lamola was gifted an as-yet-to-be-seen portrait of the minister, and from the “School of Diplomacy” in Mpumalanga, an Andrea Toscani tie and a “Handcuffed Human Statue”. From Palestine, he received an ostrich egg.
A gift from the high commissioner of Singapore, titled “Be at the Table or Be on the Menu: A Singapore Memoir”, appears to be a sort of self-help manual, and is valued at R500.
The embassy of Korea gifted the minister an enigmatic “always be happy special gift set” worth R1,400.
Pinky’s sporting life
ANC MP and former Limpopo roads and transport MEC Pinky Sharon Kekana, found by former Public Protector Thuli Madonsela to have abused her position to settle a score to benefit EFF leader Julius Malema back in 2010, clearly loooves her sport.
A true South African.
Kekana declared in the Members’ Register that MultiChoice had coughed up R150,000 for her to attend the 2023 Rugby World Cup in France and that she had also received VIP access tickets to the value of about R8,000.
The Department of Sport, Arts and Culture organised VIP cricket Test match tickets (no match specified) valued at R1,000 for Kekana. She watched a South Africa vs New Zealand rugby match with up-close tickets to the value of R1,500.
The ghost of Edwin Sodi
In 2022, Kekana, as deputy minister in the Presidency, was reprimanded by the National Assembly Ethics Committee, which found her guilty of failing to disclose R170,000 she had received from corrupt tendepreneur Edwin Sodi, exposed at the Zondo Commission as having also funded fellow ANC senior leaders, Zizi Kodwa (then minister in the Presidency) and Labour and Employment Minister Thulas Nxesi.
In 2018, Kekana, as deputy communications minister, “came out strongly against corruption, charging those who were found on the wrong side of the law be named and shamed”.
But that’s water under the bridge.
Other gifts Kekana declared included a “GEMS Trolley Bag” from the Government Medical Scheme, estimated at R3,000.
Kekana has been financially astute, declaring dividends from Wiphold and the South African Women in Mining Association, and listing a residential property in Polokwane, Limpopo, measuring 1,200 square metres, and another home in Pretoria of the same measurement.
Kekana’s shares and other interests were listed as the holding of 20 voting shares in Mookodi Trading (Pty Ltd) “involved in the mining industry and general activities”, and she is a director of Two Ships Office Space and of Mookodi Trading. She also declared a directorship of Sinovuno, also in the mining business, but which was in the process of deregistration. DM