The Springboks did well, but Busisiwe Mkhwebane did better
Thank you, Busisiwe Mkhwebane, thank you my Freedom Fighter.
Dear Sis Joyce,
I trust this email finds you well and truly liberated from the “chain of satanism”.
I just had to write this short message to let you know how heartening it was to see that you too found great inspiration in the Springboks’ recent World Cup quarterfinal match. Inspiration to, at least in your case, attempt to snatch victory from the jaws of definite defeat.
Much more so than their lauded performance, your recent announcement on 16 October, the very morning after their victory, filled me with great pride to be a single passport-carrying South African. It reminded me that ours is a land of impossible possibilities and possible impossibilities; a land that, as you have demonstrated many times over, knows no rock bottom.
Your detractors thought you were finished as they unfairly snatched the title of Public Protector from you, citing startling incompetence and misconduct, but you rose to alliterate another day and swapped your tired old former title for Freedom Fighter. Brava!
I grew up in the Eighties, back when the apartheid government banned smart TVs and the streaming platforms we enjoy today; Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc. We were forced to watch only three channels; big sporting events were a terrible time for me as a non-athletic child. The Olympics were the worst as my favourite shows disappeared while sports programming took over their slots. Thanks to Tata Madiba, streamers and iPads were unbanned and big sporting events needed no longer mess with my entertainment.
That said, even I was inspired by the way the Springboks played that match, and again a week later when they decolonised Stade de France against the English team. Their victories and resilience reminded me of the Stage 8 resilience of the South African spirit. But that doesn’t compare to the incredulous surge of inspiration that coursed through my resilient veins as I watched you put on your red beret and inform the people that you “voluntarily join the EFF without any motive of personal gain or material benefit”.
It’s the selflessness for me!
As Springbok captain Siya Kolisi said in his post-quarterfinal match interview, “it’s about the people back home. That’s what’s driving us.” In my humble opinion, you did one better just a few hours later as you announced your new “political home”.
“I always said I will protect the poor and the marginalised… I am here to learn and to continue to fight and protect South Africans,” you confidently told the populace that fate deemed fit for life at the bottom of Africa. When it comes to national unity, the consequences of your actions during your time in the Office of the Public Protector seriously deserve far more attention than they have received thus far, truly.
I hope that during this transitional period and through the challenges that shall surely come, you will hold on to your faith. As you said in your June 2019 speech to the SA Sheriff Society: “I know some of you may not be Christian but I strongly believe I was placed in this position by the God that I serve and I believe that only He can remove me if He is of the view that I have failed.”
I am truly sorry that the “God that [you] serve” did in fact deem you a failure and sided with Parliament in removing you from your former position. Trust that He walks with you still.
Please reassure me that you still maintain contact with Bishop Lucas Mthombeni. I fondly remember his words back in August 2019, when he addressed you at that multidenominational prayer session and said: “You have touched the untouchables in order to change the unchangeable and reach the unreachable. We are here to break the chain of satanism in the office of the public protector, which is led by our sister, Busisiwe.”
Once again, I am deeply sorry that the God of yours and the Bishop’s understanding never got around to breaking the chains of satanism during your time as Public Protector. Not to accuse Him of favouritism, but it does seem He deployed an army of angel soldiers for your predecessor, whereas in your case “the chain of satanism” remained intact. And not to put too fine a point on it, but as you predicted, in you He saw a failure undeserving of such a position. He does work in the most mysterious ways, I suppose.
Thankfully, the red berets beg to differ. I’m sure you’ll soon spend your days happily EFFing around with your new crew.
I shall keep you in my thoughts and prayers because if there is one tokoloshe more resilient than a South African in a speeding taxi to Rock Bottom station, it’s the devil himself.
These are truly hard times in our country and on the global stage. The deluge of tragedy on our screens causes many of us to feel that the world is truly going to kak, in that speeding taxi. You, my leader, have been a beacon of light in these dark times. To watch you reach rock bottom, only to pull out a pickaxe and dig deeper is a reminder that, to borrow a numerical quote from your old pal, former president Zuma, South Africa is truly the land of “seven hundred and sixty-nine thousand eight hundred and twenty and seventy” chances. Godspeed! I look forward to watching you EFF things as up as you no doubt will. DM