Most Trues in True-ville queued up for their shots to protect themselves from the SARS-CoV-2 virus that mutated a lot,
But the anti-vaxxer Grinches did not,
Whatever the reason;
It could be just part of an extended silly season
Or an overconsumption of pot.
It could be the belief preached by our former Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng that nurses who vaccinate are part of a Satanic plot
Hellfire and brimstone will be their sorry lot
For changing the faithful’s DNA with Lucifer’s 666 spot.

It could be the gamma rays that sneaked through their tinfoil hats
Causing mortal terror that the jab will make their sex drives go flat
Or reptilian humanoids trying to control their thoughts of whether to make a peanut butter sandwich for lunch or to eat last night’s wors
It could be a fear that Bill Gates, Big Pharma and the government had colluded to implant a chip
To monitor their undercover trips to source supplies of snake oil, ivermectin, peroxide and spliff or that quick dash to their favourite brothels where they go to get secretly whipped.

So firm are they in their disbelief of the SARS-CoV-2 virus that has killed 5.3 million worldwide, 90,262 in South Africa and counting
That they gallivant without masks in their grinchly parades, wagging their fists at doctors who beg them to look at the scientific evidence that is mounting and mounting and mounting
They shout
and they shout
and they SHOUT, SHOUT, SHOUT, SHOUT
“I have an immune system … the vaccine has not been tested … I want freedom, freedom, the freedom to be infected”
They SHOUT
Outside the Union Buildings in the capital,
They SHOUT
On the Durban beachfront burning their masks outside Addington Hospital.
They SHOUT
Outside Cape Town’s Groote Schuur, where one of their members
Claimed Covid-19 did not exist even though she had been violently ill with it last December.
How can you be ill with something you don’t believe exists?
This sort of attention-seeking madness, logic resists.
Such stupidity is outrageous
But alas among these Grinches it is highly contagious.
In Australia a Grinch attacked a police horse called Tobruk
In London they marched to the wrong building they mistook
For the BBC,
Which they accused of promoting the vaccines with glee.
Most of these Grinches fail to remember
That as infants vaccines saved them from measles, mumps and rubella.
Not to forget when they get a rusty knife cut on their fingers or a mangy dog bite on their pecs
They all rush out to get their anti-tets.
The Grinches pay no heed to the science that disproves their beliefs;
They outrightly reject Sahpra, the FDA and the WHO.
They have no heart for the nurses and doctors who put their lives on the line for all Trues.
They refuse to accept the research that suggests Covid vaccines PROTECT all from death and serious disease.
They say that SCIENCE is wrong,
And they fail to realise their ignorance gives the virus the space to mutate from ALPHA, BETA, DELTA, MU to the latest OMICRON
As breakthrough infections make everyone sick, sick, sick
From the “mild” fatigue, fever, coughs, sore muscles and headaches that so many afflict
To the severe pneumonia, brain fog, blood clots, hair loss, long-Covid symptoms that last for months and months –
The anti-vaxxer Grinches remain thick, thick as bricks.

Are the people of True-ville too optimistic to believe
That the only way these selfish Grinches will turn over new leaves
Is when they are close to death with drips in their arms and vents in their mouths,
No longer able to verbally spout their viral conspiracy theories.
Will this be the only way for them to see more clearly?
Or will it have to take much grimmer grinchly slants
As hazmat-suited pallbearers carry the brunt of the ridiculous folly of the Grinches’ social media rants? DM168

(Photo: crestresearch.uk.ac / Wikipedia)

FIRST RUNNER-UP: THE DISINFORMATION MERCHANTS

Cousins of the winners, these Grinch runners-up can be found everywhere but particularly in the online universe: making false claims about everything from Covid-19 and 5G to Eskom and the legacy of Jacob Zuma. DM168

(Photo: Waldo Swiegers / Bloomberg via Getty Images)

SECOND RUNNER-UP: ESKOM

For load shedding, with no end in sight. Need we say more? DM168

***

DAILY MAVERICK PERSONS OF THE YEAR

Every year, Daily Maverick puts its mind to the question of who we should recognise in our annual Persons of the Year categories.

In the past, these decisions have been made after a bare-knuckle editorial brawl, but this year, we decided to do things a little differently. We had the bare-knuckle editorial brawl, but simply to arrive at a shortlist of nominees in each category. Using a new reader engagement tool called Hearken, we asked our online readers to cast their votes on who they think deserves the final nod. We also gave readers the option to choose their own candidate in any category in case they thought we had neglected anyone more worthy. The results were both expected and surprising.

On the whole, readers agreed with our shortlisted candidates, with a few exceptions. We had not considered Greta Thunberg as a candidate for International Person of the Year, but so many readers nominated her that she earned enough mentions to be a runner-up in that category.

Many objected to us only focusing on singers for our Artist of the Year and objected to the predominance of foreign singers in the category. Quite a few readers were critical of us leaving out African women and female contenders in general.

The journalists at Daily Maverick were mentioned several times as nominees for different categories of People of the Year – ah, thanks for the love, guys, but this time around we wanted to cast our net outside our inner circle.

The more than 800 readers who voted totally exceeded our expectations, because this was the first time we have opened People of the Year to readers’ votes.

Below are the categories. Read about the winners and runners-up in various categories below.

• South African Person of the Year – a person who has had the broadest or most significant impact on the country as a whole.
• Africa Person of the Year – a person who has made an outstanding contribution on the African continent this year.
• International Person of the Year – a person who has had broad international impact or made an outstanding contribution this year.
• South African Villain of the Year – there was no shortage of suggestions in this self-explanatory category…
• International Villain of the Year – as above, but drawn from foreign fields.
• South African Businessperson of the Year – not necessarily the person who made the biggest profit, but someone whose influence went beyond the balance sheets.
• Community Champion of the Year – someone uplifting, defending and representing ordinary South Africans, often against all odds.
• South African Polluter of the Year – individuals and entities which have succeeded in further dirtying our environment this year.
• Our Burning Planet Heroes of the Year – the green warriors fighting for our planet’s survival.
• South African Youth Champion of the Year – young people working to improve the lot of other young people.
• Sportsperson of the Year – a sportsperson whose positive impact has been felt either on or off the field.
• Sports Team of the Year – a team that has stood out from the rest in 2021 either on or off the field.
• Artist of the Year – a hitmaker whose musical or social influence has towered above others.
• Moegoe of the Year – someone whose behaviour perhaps falls short of Villain of the Year, but who has in some way acted idiotically.
• Grinch of the Year – someone who qualifies as a spoilsport or killjoy. – Rebecca Davis/DM168

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper which is available for R25 at Pick n Pay, Exclusive Books and airport bookstores. For your nearest stockist, please click here.

Zapiro-2021