Curries – hear me out – are like massages. Massages in turn are, for me, like macarons. They’re supposed to be wonderful and everybody seems to love them and desire them, but I’m not a fan.

The problem with massages, even when your body is aching all over because you slept wrong and you imagine a bit of poking and prodding will sort it all out, is the pressure. Somehow no one has the same idea as me as to what “medium” is. The same goes for curry.

Too many times I’ve lain there sobbing, either from a heavy-handed masseuse or because the food took off the top layer of my mouth. It wreaks havoc with trust issues, let me tell you, when poppadoms arrive at the table with a little bowl of dipping sauce which is a most pleasing shade of green. Green means cool, right? It should. Red is hot and angry, it’s obvious. But no. That sauce is green because of chilli, not soothing cucumber or mint.

So when I popped in to visit my mates, Will Hutton and Andrew Florenca, at Curry Club the other night, to see the new private dining room which has recently supplemented what is mainly a takeaway and delivery operation, I hesitated before having a chicken bhajee bite, which was accompanied by just such a dip. No, no, they assured me. It’s not hot at all. None of the dishes are, really.

I’m not a fan of food that hurts me, and I’ve never developed the tolerance that prevents this. Heck, I can’t even go above lemon and herb at Nando’s. So when you tell me the curry is medium, chances are, for me, it’s not. This is why I love Curry Club so much.

It’s been going for about two and a half years (opened in 2018), and used to operate out of the German Club in Gardens. Now, it’s located at 50 New Church Street on the edge of the City Bowl, and the new premises have a lovely little dining room with a bar, aka the Curry Cave. It can seat up to 18 humans, but can be reserved for fewer – even two – from 1pm till closing time at 10pm. It’s best to book of course, but if you pitch up and no one else is there, you’re welcome to sit down. It’s a great option for cautious diners who feel like an intimate outing where they don’t have to be subjected to other people, and at the same time be hosted with all the necessary protocols. My introvert flag could be flying a bit right now. 

If you do want to book for your little party, there’s no fee but a 10% gratuity applies for the wait staff, which is the decent thing to do anyway. As a further incentive, Curry Club is offering a 30% discount on main dishes for sit-down diners on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Of course all this means nothing without the food. The first time I ate from Curry Club, we did the whole hot-medium-mild dance, and I erred on the side of caution as I usually do, and asked for mild. My response to that was, surprisingly, I could have gone hotter. That’s because Hutton and Florenca are all about the flavours and not the heat. They actually shun the excessive fire in favour of being able to experience all the delicious subtle nuances of the food. Therefore, your options are mild and medium. Sure, the lamb vindaloo is a bit higher up the scale, but the philosophy for which I love them is that you can always add more, but you can’t take it out. If you need more proof, I can level up to medium here and still be happily unscathed.

In the kitchen, chefs Ram Singh and Anil (he’s like Cher, or Oprah) – who coincidentally hail from the same Himalayan region of northern India but met here – prepare every dish to order. Meats are cubed and marinated in advance; there are two basic sauces, one white (creamy) and one red (tomatoey), and a whole lot of herbs and spices to be added for the final cook. There’s a tandoori oven for that chicken that simply cannot be replicated any other way, and naan. Tandoori chicken is traditionally ruby (red) but Curry Club has just added what Hutton calls a “very groovy” blonde one made with fresh ginger and cream. 

The menu contains what surely must be all the favourites: lamb, chicken, seafood, vegetarian. There is a host of side dishes (including hot sauce, if you dare), some snacky starters, rotis (gourmet I’ll have you know), biryani, and some sweets for afters. My First World problem (all my problems are First World, which is First World in itself, shame) is that I never know what to order and then end up lugging bags full of food I can never finish. Thank goodness a friend popped around and delightedly took the leftovers off my hands with the unexpected bonus of her not having to cook, while I propped myself up against the kitchen counter, holding my belly, moaning softly.

Chicken sagwala from Curry Club. (Photo: Supplied)

Along with the half tandoori chicken which comes with Bombay spuds, I had Hutton’s fave, chicken sagwala. To be honest, it’s not the prettiest thing to look at (unless it’s professionally photographed), being cubes of chicken in a creamy cumin-tinged spinach sauce, but by gods, it’s good. When it comes to veggies, the Indian people make hands down the best. Hutton reckons it’s practical as well as healthy and economical for them – vegetables cost less than meat, and last longer. Curry Club’s Sunshine Dhal (yellow lentils) is delectable, but this time I chose Dal Makhani because the black lentil is apparently the best lentil when it comes to healthy benefits. No regrets. Other than not being able to eat more.

Curry Club is open Tuesdays to Sundays but you can call or email any time after 12.30pm to book the Curry Cave – [email protected] or 021 300 3971. More info here. 

While the word curry is often generically applied to Indian food, the cuisine is far wider ranging than what we would perhaps consider “curry”. The same goes for Cape Malay cooking. For example, I wouldn’t call bobotie a curry, but for the sake of this story we’ll stick with the term. This next part dates all the way back to BC (Before Covid-19) and has been updated to accommodate the current regulations which stipulate no buffets.

In late February 2020, I received an email inviting me to an all-you-can-eat curry feast at Quarter Kitchen at the Portswood Hotel which promised to be “surprisingly affordable”. And so it came to pass, one fine evening, that a small group of us were hosted by Jared Ruttenberg aka JaredInCPT – travel journalist, wine editor, tour guide, and Instagram hottie (seriously, go look). Whereas before guests got up to help themselves every Wednesday, the Curry Feast dishes like pumpkin bredie, Pienang curry and bobotie are served to the table for everyone to share, on the last Wednesday of the month. It costs R185 per adult and R95 for children under the age of 12 years. Every night there’s also the option of a set three-course menu of Cape Malay style dishes.

In his welcome speech that long ago night, Ruttenberg said he often comes across hidden gems and well-kept secrets, in the course of his travels. As do we all. And there is usually a small conundrum: do we keep it to ourselves, or do we share it far and wide? In this case, Ruttenberg chose to share it with us, and we with you, because it is too good (and selfish) to keep to ourselves. “We do love an offer that’s friendly for locals’ wallets,” I originally wrote, “and this time last week we didn’t even realise exactly how much more important that would become than relying on foreign tourism spending” which is just a tiny bit creepy now but still accurate.

Chef Wade Kearns, Quarter Kitchen, The Portswood. (Photo: Supplied)

The feast is thanks to chef Wade Kearns, who brings his personal heritage to the table (so to speak). During his three years of professional training at the Northlink Hotel School (two-year diploma in professional cookery and one-year advanced patisserie diploma), Kearns had 18 months’ in-service at Asara Wine Estate, Belmond Mount Nelson Hotel, and Encore Restaurant and Conference Centre. He went on to begin his career at Asara where he worked for a year to gain five-star experience as commis chef. Further positions included Lourensford Wine Estate, Belmond Mount Nelson Hotel, and INN on the Square Hotel, Greenmarket Square. “I finally moved to The Commodore Hotel where I worked for three years as a sous chef until receiving the promotion to head chef at their sister Portswood Hotel, a position I’ve now held since 2018,” said Kearns.

It all goes way back before all this, though. “My love for Cape Malay cuisine started as a young boy coming from the Cape culture of cooking and traditions; it was quite easy to fall into learning from the way my family cooks stews, curries, pastries and samoosas, and observing the traditional way we do things,” he said.

“When I started at the Quarter Kitchen these dishes and spices just came back to me as memories and I could put all that history into the menus I created.”

Among the curries you’ll find on the buffet are bobotie (like spaghetti bolognaise, every ouma, granny and tannie has a “secret” recipe), seafood curry, pumpkin and lamb bredie, and the famous Penang curry. It’s Kearns’ favourite, but in these parts we call it “Pienang” curry. “The name ‘Penang curry’ is originally Malaysian but was localised by the Cape Malay people as Pienang curry,” explained the chef. “It’s meat and an aromatic sauce, and is my favourite because in the Cape culture it is a delicacy to eat lamb – a meat that would only be served on special occasions.”

The intention at Quarter Kitchen, particularly with these homely traditional dishes, is to create the notion of being in someone’s home, and sharing their meal. “Quarter Kitchen has had a small family of chefs working there for years, and they go way back with the Cape Malay culture,” said Kearns. “It’s a distinctly cosy feeling when you sit in the restaurant with warm hearty food made with love, and service staff treating the guest like family. I see it as a unique place where memories are made.”

There’s also a ton of history inside these walls. The Quarter Kitchen is in one of the V&A Waterfront’s oldest buildings, in a section of the original Breakwater Prison built in 1860 and known as the “Good Conduct Ward”. On your way in through the lobby, you’ll see the well attraction, which once supplied the prison with water.

The boardroom, at the far end of the restaurant where we sat, used to be the prison chapel and there is a teeny tiny barred window between that and the good behaviour ward. Heaven knows it’s likely to be the only time I’ll get to be in one of those. While you can still see the original walls as décor features, the restaurant has a cool, contemporary look. 

Many chefs will tell you they learned at their mother’s knee, and Kearns is no different. “I use my mother’s chicken curry recipe, it’s one of my favourites,” he said. “The recipe is authentic and has not been changed. She is very happy I have incorporated her way of cooking into my menus at work, and she is very proud.”

But in Kearns’s case, his interest in cooking is also owed to his father: “He is a chef and I have learnt from him how things work,” said Kearns. “He has travelled the world on cruise liners and started his own business in the catering industry. We are a family of cooks and I guess cooking runs in the family.”

A daily three-course set menu at Quarter Kitchen offers diners a selection of curries. (Photo: Supplied)

This feast, said Kearns, “brings family together and tells a special story about Cape Town and its local cuisine.” If you weren’t paying attention the first time around, you can take that story and the cuisine home with you in the form of a recipe booklet (printed, or downloadable online). It gives you a background and history of Cape Malay culture and cuisine, and contains recipes for some of the very dishes you have eaten in the restaurant. I am definitely going to be making that lamb and pumpkin bredie this winter; that was my personal favourite, scooped up in a soft roti. Bobotie and Pienang/Penang curry are in there too.

Edit: I did make the lamb and pumpkin bredie a couple of times during lockdown.

“The recipes I developed in the book were inspired by my youth and culture. It’s important to preserve our culture through food because food brings people together every day, and every occasion has food that tells people a special story,” said Kearns. “It also reminds people where Cape Malay cuisine comes from and where it all started when they experience the cuisine.

“The booklet is to give the public a little extra information behind the recipes of the Quarter Kitchen. Guests will then have a chance to try out our recipes at home and to share them with their families.”

For more information, click here, email [email protected] or call 021 418 3281.

We’ve had sit-down and semi sit-down. To round out the selection, I have an almost purely takeaway spot: Nice ’n Spicy on Belvedere Road in Rondebosch. It achieves its almost status on account of there being a couple of tables and chairs inside and out so you could pop in for a sneaky roti on your way home and no one needs to know.

Chicken curry with roti from Nice ’n Spicy. (Photo: Bianca Coleman)

Nice ’n Spicy is owned by radio professional Lee Downs, who has been on the airwaves since he was 17 in 1989, when he began his career at Capital Radio 604 in Durban. In 1993, Downs moved to Good Hope FM in January 1993 where he spent nine years there mostly as host of the Afternoon Drive. P4 Radio (later Heart FM) and Kfm followed but in 2013, after nearly a quarter of a century behind the mic, Downs decided he wanted to cook.

“Cooking was something I was always around. My family loved to cook and all gatherings were centered around food,” he said.

“The idea for Nice ’n Spicy was born from those memories. It started as just a place for me to hang out and cook the food I love. There were no ambitions other than me wanting a small space away from the mainstream, in which I had spent most of my life. On May 24, 2014 I opened Nice ’n Spicy (as in ‘I feel for something nice ’n spicy!’) in a small space on the forecourt of what was then a Caltex garage.”

It’s a Shell now but the food remains as popular as ever, and it survived lockdown too. “We have a pretty small operation, so while it was difficult, it was easier to adjust to than bigger stores and restaurants. When we were allowed to trade again at Level 4 (although for delivery only) we had to practise a bit of flexibility,” said Downs. “We streamlined our menu and offered bulk and family meals and options. We’re still not where we should be at this time of the year, but I consider the fact my doors are still open a victory.”

Because the origins of Nice ’n Spicy curries lie up the south coast, here you can absolutely expect things to be a whole lot hotter. It is what it is. Just because I fear the heat doesn’t mean I don’t keep trying the heat. It’s as if I somehow expect to be miraculously cured, much like I still try to read the small print without the reading glasses I’ve had to wear for years already. This is a long way of saying the allegedly medium (there is no option of mild) chicken curry floored me. I soldiered on by circling it quietly for a day then taking it out the sauce and wrapping it in a roti, which was successful.

“My mantra is that we’re proudly South African and focus on our food and flavours. There’s the misperception that a curry is a curry. The truth is, there are hundreds of different styles of curry from the very many regions in India. We, however, make Durban Curry,” said Downs. 

“While the influences stem from the Indian expats that settled in Durban many years ago, there are also influences from the British (Natal was a British Colony) and from the available produce and ingredients. So Durban curry is something that is uniquely South African and has a taste and flavour all of its own. 

“My recipes are all the family favourites that I learned from watching my mom and relatives in the kitchen. It’s the food I grew up with and love passionately. A meal is not a meal if it doesn’t have a bit of spice and a lot of love. As we say at Nice ’n Spicy… ‘say goodbye to bland!’.” DM/TGIFood

Follow Downs on Facebook for daily specials, like tripe and trotters and prawn curry.