In response to the coronavirus crisis, we have seen communities in Cape Town mobilising to provide relief and support to the most vulnerable on a scale that hasn’t been witnessed since the dark days of apartheid.

Over the past two weeks, there has been an amazing movement to organise within, and between, communities through the Cape Town Together Facebook group and the respective Community Action Groups (CANs) set up and paired through this group.

There is, however, an uncomfortable discussion that we need to have – one that is absolutely necessary for building and maintaining social cohesion in our difficult context: What does responsible community engagement look like and how do we put this at the centre of what we do?

We need to acknowledge that our country’s past has led to citizens experiencing the present in vastly different ways – Cape Town is, in fact, a tale of three cities, at least. This means that, as we tread through each other’s spaces, we must be mindful of how, and why, other people’s experiences may be different from ours.

In an effort to start this conversation, we have put together a list of ten things that we feel are important to consider when building relationships with people and communities you might lack knowledge of. We are sure that there are many other things to consider but this is a start – a beginner’s guide to respectful relationship building.

• Be curious and open to learning. Every life comes with unique knowledge and experience – be willing to learn things from the people you are supporting. In the same breath, be careful of coming across as if you know all the answers. Remember, communities know more about their circumstances than you do, so resist the urge to offer ideas or solutions to their problems. You don’t know the reality of another person’s life.
• Be aware that you are part of a large, interconnected system – i.e. what happens somewhere else impacts you and it is in your best interest to help others.
• Be aware of the way you’re communicating about what you’re doing: Feeding people is just that – be careful not to make the gesture seem bigger than it is. Try not to develop a “saviour complex”.
• Remember to see people as whole people – just because someone is experiencing difficulty in certain aspects of their lives, does not make their whole life a tragedy. Get to know people beyond their struggles.
• Please check your emotions. This is incredibly important. Understand that your sadness and pity places an unfair burden on those you are helping to make you feel better about their This is not okay. Keep those emotions in check till you’re back home. Remember, this moment is not about you.
• Take your cues from the community you’re engaging with: Allow the community members you’re working with to lead the process and guide you on which activities are appropriate, and when. Of course, you’re absolutely allowed to make suggestions, but empower the community to decide on the kinds of help they need.
• Don’t write stories about the relationship for social media without agreeing on the story to be told and who should write it. Perhaps a community doesn’t want to be the subject of a Facebook post or an Instagram story. Only use photos of people if you have their permission.
• In relation to the above, be aware of your own assumptions and biases. Saying things like “these are kids from drug-addled households” is problematic and should be avoided at all costs. Kids should be fed, and we live in an unequal society where this is not possible for everyone – resist the urge to add any reasoning/validation/elaboration beyond this point.
• Personally undertake to do as little harm and have as little presence as possible. Don’t ask people things like “how do you survive in this small house?” or “how do you cope with the gangsters?”. These questions are laden with assumptions on what constitutes a good life and could make someone feel really crappy about things in their lives they have no power to change.
• Remember that you will benefit from a mutually accountable relationship. This is in your interest. Whatever you can contribute is part of a massive collective effort and you can help to increase this impact. Don’t be scared to try to have difficult conversations.

Covid-19 has shown us that we need to work together and support each other if we are to survive this crisis and, in the process, work to build a new society that nurtures all of us instead of only a few.

As South Africans, the legacy of apartheid means that we have a lot to learn about how to engage with respect and in a spirit of learning and generosity. The response to the crisis shows that we all want to, and indeed can, help to create the kind of society we need.

Our willingness to engage can only have greater impact if we are deeply conscious of the legacy of our past and our responsibility related to our privilege, while retaining a spirit of learning and adaptation. DM

Rushka Ely and Gill Cullinan work for the Western Cape Economic Development Partnership (EDP), an NPC that works to foster collaboration around complex issues.