Life, etc

Trolls of the Third Reich: They live among us

By Tony Jackman 21 July 2016

OMG. O! Mein! Gott! as Chandler’s girlfriend in the dubbed sitcom Freunde might say. I have been researching Adolf Hitler’s speeches, among other things to do with the Weimar era of Germany’s history. They are easily found in text and in videos all over the internet. And if you thought regular, homeboy trolls were scary, read on and be very, very fearful. Or maybe just sob uncontrollably. By a somewhat alarmed TONY JACKMAN.

Turns out the interwebs are rife with the words and thoughts of one Adolf Hitler, he of the comb-over that possibly inspired Donald Trump’s blond strawpatch, the camply chilling Sieg Heil salute and the comically absurd moustache. There are dozens of Der Führer’s speeches, the full texts of which can be found on Wikipedia, as well as many videos on YouTube and other sites. Anyone who wishes to be either appalled or inspired by reading them is free to access them and be duly appalled or inspired. You don’t even have to go to the Dark Web or the Deep Web to find them. But beware: what Hitler had to say isn’t the worst of it. It’s the trolls that lurk in the shadows that we should be afraid of.

I have been fascinated by Hitler all my life for three reasons:

My mom and dad were Brits who fought the Nazi regime throughout World War II, my dad in the Royal Navy, my mom in the Land Army. Their second son having been born just 10 years after the end of the war, it was still all very real and close to them, so I was brought up knowing all about it, and taught to distrust Germans and Germany. While the frustrated rock star in me would have played in Hamburg clubs in the Sixties had life turned out that way, a residue of distrust of that nation still lurks in the shadows, despite my otherwise intelligent brain’s efforts to fight it.

My dad taught me always to know what I am up against in life, so that I may be better able to deal with it. As a thinker and as that maligned creature, the lesser-freckled dreaded white self-loathing liberal, I choose to know about all the bad stuff, believing that it had the effect of honing my liberal attitudes. It’s one of the aspects that led me into journalism – because newspapers reflect society back at them so that people are better able to make sense of the world and their lives. And,

I share a birthday with him. I know! … I was shocked too when I found out. Just one day later and it would have been Queen Elizabeth II. Look, you don’t get to choose these things. Given a choice, I’d have opted for Dylan Thomas, or Keith Richards, or Vincent van Gogh. But yes, like the most chilling despot the world has known in a century, I was born on April 20. My friends will, I hope, vouch for the fact that the commonalities end right there.

And so, finally, I am writing a project which has to do with this man who has fascinated me for decades, and on to the interwebs I went, mouse in hand and fear in my heart. O. Mein. Gott. The internet is a treasure trove for the Nazi sympathiser – if by “treasure trove” one means a place where an assemblage of vicious words and evil rejoinders are collected to bewilder and appal us.

One speech, dubbed The Hitler Speech They Don’t Want You to Hear, had 972,688 views as of Thursday afternoon. Another, The Greatest Story Never Told: Parts 1 – 27, had 927,061 views. Oh, actually, 927,062 after I had a look. Yet another, Hitler in Colour, had 3,807,646 views. That, looked at with dark irony, is almost two-thirds of all the people murdered by the Nazis. And you have to wonder how many of those 3,807,646 views represent people who rather like what Der Führer had to say. My money would be on the vast majority, if gauged by a quick assessment of what Die Trollen in the comments threads have to say.

The quaintly titled Hitler Will Forever Be in Our Hearts [a title best read to a soundtrack of Julie Andrews tripping over the meadows singing The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music] had a mere 28,287 views, whereas Adolf Hitler Explains his Reasons for Invading the Soviet Union had 640,991. Adolf Hitler Best Speech in Colour: 461,883; 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Adolf Hitler: 3,195,915; Adolf Hitler – speech: 3,487,374. And on and on.

If you’re wondering about those 10 things we might not have known about Hitler, it seems to have been compiled by a list-obsessed Hello! Magazine reader. Here they are:

1. Hitler was rejected from art school more than once. [This New Yorker article might explain why.]

2. Hitler loved iconic German artists. [Especially his own, says Der Spiegel.]

3. He practised for speeches by taking photos of himself … making speeches. [Which Mashable confirms.]

4. He was an out-of-control spender. [Something of a non sequitur and not widely backed up by a Google search.]

5. Hitler was once ordered to trim his moustache. [Which had to do with why his moustache was the way it was.]

6. He loved Disney. [Maybe he’d seen this video?]

7. Hitler’s obsession with Wagner began aeons before World War II. (Which The Telegraph explores.]

8. Rumour has it that Hitler had bred an army of talking dogs. [This and other absurd but oddly credible facts explored in this New York Times feature.]

9. Hitler was a vegetarian who was diligent about food testing. [This depends on which source you believe.]

10. His favourite actor only died in 2011. [Johannes Heesters was a man of quite extraordinary and active longevity. He died in 2011 at the age of 108, having made his final film in that year.]

But here’s the chilling thing. Scroll down (or troll down) to the comments field on any one of these videos. That’s where the story lies. And the terror.

One speech had 2,207 comments. I read the first 30 or so. It went like this:

[Just consider us painting a giant ‘sic’ over most of it – Ed]

History:Truths: This is exactly what’s happening in America and the world! Unemployment, etc! We should be ashamed of letting them do this to us that has been going on since the early 1900s.

[Are you channelling The Donald?]

ArnoldEspadas: Hitler was a great man he fought evil with evil fought for his people don’t ever compare that fucking joke of a trump to a great man like hitler ..I don’t agree with everything he did but that the only way he could fight evil that betrayed.

[Trump is even worse than Hitler? If you’re Jewish-American, get out now.]

piping piping: i think this guy was a good man who did terrible things.and he didnt hate jews but he loeved his ppl . he knew jews were owning the economy and german ppl was suffering ao he thought it was necessary to kill jews which was wrong.

[Didn’t hate Jews…? What, he killed them because he had nothing better to do? And please explain what is meant by “a good man who did terrible things”? Doesn’t the second part sort of cancel out the first?]

Waleed Saleh: I totally agree.

[Find a dictionary and look up “good”. Words have meanings.]

Richard Parker: The Führer every German should be proud of.

[Is this ironic?]

Kaneki L: Hitler was one of the best leaders of all time. (If only he didn’t kill all those people): look at our leaders today, they dont deliver change. But Hitler? He saved the German people and saved his country from poverty. If only Obama could do that.

[How’s that? “If only he didn’t kill all those people. SAD FACE.” *tears hair out*]

Bruno Lopez: The only good leaders today are Putin and Xi Jinping.

[You forgot Kim Jong-un.]

Omar Haro: Every time I feel down I watch this video. It is incredibly inspiring!

[They should lock you in a cell with your arms bound and Schindler’s List on repeat on a TV mounted near the ceiling. For life.]

MADBADRAD: What a great man.

[I see where you’re going here. And Obama’s evil, right?]

Austin Schultz: heil hitler !heil hitler !heil hitler!

[Please, could you at least try to punctuate correctly.]

What4: Birth of a legend.

[But what4?: Born to Kill?]

Johan Syffert: Say what you want about the man but he sure loved Germany.

[But he wouldn’t like the Germany of today. He loved his idea of what Germany should be, and his twisted, discordant rendition of what a country can or should be or aspire to.]

Swoost: enough to send millions of its people to their death, in camps and on the battlefield

[Finally, a sane voice. I think you’ve come to the wrong website, mate.]

Random Guy: Europe, especially Germany, needs another Hitler with all of these savage “refugees”.

[There are plenty of Hitlers to go round as it is, just choose one and go with it. And, evidently, even more of his followers.]

Random Guy (again): While I avidly disagree with the whole mass murdering aspect of Nazi Germany, you can’t say that Hitler didn’t care for his country, nor can you say that Germany would’ve been better off without him.

[The “whole mass murdering aspect”. This is like saying that though it’s pretty reprehensible that Ted Bundy killed and mutilated all those women, he was such great company at a dinner party, and really cute.]

NaziAreBoring: Wake up dumb ass. Spring 1945 shows you to be a below average moron.

[Seconded.]

Derek Stynes: Another point of interest, Did you know that Adolf Hitler never took one penny when He became Chancellor of Germany.

[Soooo… what? That exonerates him?]

Themesaregreat: scary comments here

[Hallelujah.]

Arctrooper Rob: god, imagine if my family found my youtube watch history

[We found it. PS: You’re disowned.]

Carpediem8110101: I walk with his words in my heart now.

[Well, if there’s hatred in your heart, I guess it would make sense to store his words there.]

Sam: He just described present day USA. The Jews control the US media, the US banks & the US government.

[Just shoot yourself with one of your eight Smith & Wessons.]

Tommy Hall: So, what has changed? Who still control Hollywood, the press, the financial markets, the banks, he knew and he was thwarted by the establishment, the Jewish lackeys and the Jewish Communist movement, if you need to know the full story, real history, I am here for you.

[You’re right about some of this – Jewish people are smart, excellent at business and good leaders.]

Michael Corleone [Hey!?]: People need to realise that Hitler is not the evilest person in the world. He stood for real things, things that are RELEVANT today, we see what the Jewish people are doing in Palestine, we see the jewish bankers running the world today, so why do we hate hitler ? because he created concentration camps ? Peoples have been dying at war since the begining of time.

[Hitler was so real! He was like way out, man. Look, if you’re after a Hippie culture reference, rather try Charles Manson. And there’s a difference between casualties of war (not that I condone that) and exterminating an entire group of human beings.]

Les Booth: agreed Hitler did what he had to do or there would have been no Germany all Jews were against Germany if people were well informed yesterday as they are today Canada and United States would never have gotten involved in the European conflict

[Okay, this is a new one. Hitler was defending Germany against the onslaught of the Jews. Very original.]

Emre S: Hitler was a true patriot , saved his german nation from total control of another nation/people.

[Saved his nation? Nope – that was America and the Allies. If they hadn’t beaten Hitler, Germany would not have been a fun place to be and wouldn’t have risen from Nazism’s ashes to become the successful superstate it is today.]

Les Booth (again): I’m from Canada and I think we fought on the wrong side he was the only one standing up against the Zionist Jew all Jew secretly worked against Germany before during and after World War one no one talks about Germany’s persecution when the Polish were digging Mass Graves and slaughtering thousands of ethnic Germans the French and English were taking all their food and resources did Germans were literally starving to death we talked about German propaganda but we don’t recognize our government propaganda on the German people

[You do realise that what you’re saying is that you would prefer to have lived under a dictatorship? They should ship you out to North Korea so that you can see what that feels like. You won’t like it.]

Ahmetcan Tore: Hitler was a pagan idiot fuck. Noob.

[I like pagans and would like to apologise to all pagans everywhere on your behalf. But yes, all other epithets apply.]

doctorxring: The Final Solution was deportation. Any student of the Truth of this era will find that out.

[Deportation to where? Eternity?]

ReSpecTheStaR2010: … That awkward moment when you realize that Adolf Hitler was actually 100% correct about what he was saying… and his actions seemed to be justifiable….

[That awkward moment when you realise what a dickhead you are.]

ayoublover1: I AM A MUSLIM AND I LOVE HITLER HE WAS THE MAN HE SAID THE TRUTH. WE STILL LOVE YOU OUR FUHRER. THANKS GERMANY

[REPEAT AFTER ME: ICH BIN EIN DUMMKOPF. ICH BIN EIN DUMMKOPF…]

Stephersluvsyou: These comments are terrifying….guess I found where all the white racist people hang out on youtube…

[Thank you, Stephersluvsyou – you are sane! Although I’m not sure how you deduce ‘white people’ from random names?]

And let’s end there, on that kinder, saner note. But here’s the thing: the comments above are a grain of sand on a mountain. And they’re only the top few comments on just two comments threads. You have to wonder how many people’s like-minded opinions White Alexander (multiskinheadgirl) reflects when he/she writes:

HItler !! Plz came back !! Plzz !!! 🙁 The world needs you ! !!

SAD FACE. My flabber is gasted. I think I’ll log off now before I implode. DM

Photo: @AdolfHitler

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