O Brother, Where Ard Thou?

By Rebecca Davis 25 August 2011

Just Jinjer frontman Ard Matthews has taken it upon himself to rewrite our national anthem. The Presidency urges all South Africans to acquaint themselves with the lyrics to the revised version as soon as possible for the sake of national unity. By REBECCA DAVIS.

For the benefit of younger readers, Just Jinjer was a band who satisfied the SA music market’s aching hunger for anodyne, sub-Bryan Adams soft-rock before handing over the baton of musical mediocrity to The Parlotones and pissing off to America. Even though Matthews and his buddies are really, really proud South Africans. Never forget that. He even has a tattoo of Africa on his arm, which in terms of evidence of commitment is practically the same thing as single-handedly driving a truck of supplies to Somaliland.

Just Jinjer used to spell their name Just Jinger, but changed it because their cretinous fans kept thinking it was pronounced to rhyme with “singer”, which is what Ard Matthews hopes to be when he grows up. It’s so irritating when people pronounce things wrongly, isn’t it, Ard?

But mi scusi, Ard, because really we owe you heartfelt thanks for your re-tooling of the anthem. Whites always struggled with those pesky words in – what is that language, anyway? Fanagalo? Matthews’s new version makes it much, much easier for mlungus to be able to join in the pre-rugby singing before the Die Stem bit finally kicks in to put them out of their embarrassment.

Pay attention, now. Second verse, old version: “Morena boloka setjhaba sa heso, O fedise dintwa le matshwenyeho”. We’re finished with that. New version: “Morena baloo ke, na na sari steve, opec di say peeper lemur train yeah ho”.

Got it? Good, there’ll be a test after class. DM


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