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22 September 2017 19:03 (South Africa)
Sport

Sports injuries: the idiot’s how-not-to guide

  • Branko Brkic
    branko3048 a ray
    Branko Brkic

    Brkic is the founder and editor of The Daily Maverick.

    He has edited magazines on business and politics, technology, and wildlife. He has also published fiction and non-fiction books, most of them in Serbian. Though he has never pretended to be a reporter, his wide knowledge of politics (especially in America), combined with his experiences in a disintegrating Yugoslavia, gives him an unusual outlook on events in South Africa.

    Despite the vowel-poor surname, he tells anyone who asks that he hails from Hyde Park, Johannesburg, having spent most of his adult life in South Africa.

    Recent columns:

  • Sport
how not to injury guide

Schalk Burger’s recent ban for eye-gouging is one thing; there are much weirder reasons for missing the game.

It’s not quite the Darwin Awards, but it’s close. The weirdest injuries in sports reads like an “Idiot’s how-not-to guide,” and there are some screamers. For starters, baseball journeyman Greg Harris once sat out two games after spending a day in the field flicking sunflower seeds at his mate – Harris’s elbow gave out. Then there was Brazilian soccer ace Ramalho, who was bedridden for three days after orally administering a suppository. In 1991, basketball forward Lionel Simmons missed two games of his rookie year for playing too much GameBoy – he got tendonitis in his wrist and forearm. And let’s not forget baseball pitcher Steve Sparks, who missed out on playing for the major leagues because he tore his shoulder while trying to rip apart a phonebook. 

It gets weirder. German soccer player Sascha Bender once had to withdraw from his Stuttgart team after he got punched in the face. Why was he punched? According to the assailant, Bender’s teammate, he deserved it because he was “farting all the time”. Wade Boggs, one of baseball’s most famous third basemen, once missed seven games after straining his back while trying to pull on his cowboy boots. Also, a basketball player by the improbable name of Muggsy Bogues once needed treatment for muscle cramps and couldn’t go back on the court because the ointment fumes got to his head.  

There’s a lot more from Mental Floss magazine’s list of “19 Unusual Sports Injuries,” but we trust you’ve got a few South African examples of your own to add…

By Staff Writer

Read more: Mental_floss

  • Branko Brkic
    branko3048 a ray
    Branko Brkic

    Brkic is the founder and editor of The Daily Maverick.

    He has edited magazines on business and politics, technology, and wildlife. He has also published fiction and non-fiction books, most of them in Serbian. Though he has never pretended to be a reporter, his wide knowledge of politics (especially in America), combined with his experiences in a disintegrating Yugoslavia, gives him an unusual outlook on events in South Africa.

    Despite the vowel-poor surname, he tells anyone who asks that he hails from Hyde Park, Johannesburg, having spent most of his adult life in South Africa.

    Recent columns:

  • Sport

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