It was one of those weirdo weekends in South Africa, when the frequencies began to align and the odd, eerie piano music in the background started to sound like some grand gothic opera in which we’re the ghostly extras. All the war talk, all the chatter about ass-kicking and neck-chopping, all the school burnings and tire burnings and vehicle burnings, all the banning of the broadcasting of violence on the SABC—all of it culminated in a steady stream of election violence from both within the ANC and without. Meanwhile, the EFF released a rap song, and Arnold Schwarzenegger was in the country trying to help us get less fat. But we don’t need a diet plan. We need a plan plan. By RICHARD POPLAK.