Jon Stewart hit the nail on the head when he pithily welcomed Caitlyn Jenner to womanhood. “You see, Caitlyn, when you were a man, we could talk about your athleticism, your business acumen,” he said. “But now you’re a woman — and your looks are the only thing we care about.”

Certainly it’s an incisive commentary on sexism. But it’s also a summary of a broader issue raised by Laverne Cox in her response to Jenner’s Vanity Fair debut on Tumblr. Cox, with characteristic grace, made her point gently but firmly: “Many have commented on how gorgeous Caitlyn looks in her photos, how she is ‘slaying for the Gods’. I must echo these comments… But this has made me reflect critically on my own desires to ‘work a photo shoot’, to serve up various forms of glamour, power, sexiness, body affirming, racially empowering images of the various sides of my black, trans womanhood. I love working a photo shoot and creating inspiring images for my fans, for the world and, above all, for myself. But I also hope that it is my talent, my intelligence, my heart and spirit that most captivate, inspire, move and encourage folks to think more critically about the world around them… ”

Speaking to criticism she had received, Cox added, “A year ago, when my TIME magazine cover came out, I saw posts from many trans folks saying that I am ‘drop dead gorgeous’ and that that doesn’t represent most trans people… I think what they meant was, in certain lighting, at certain angles I am able to embody certain cisnormative beauty standards. Now, there are many trans folks, because of genetics and/or lack of material access, who will never be able to embody these standards. More importantly, many trans folks don’t want to embody them, and we shouldn’t have to, to be seen as ourselves and respected as ourselves… I have always been aware that I can never represent all trans people… The struggle continues.”

Jenner and Cox’s representation in the media have certainly given greater visibility to transgender people, but is it an authentic visibility? Or is it visibility of a picture the public wants to see? Would Jenner and Cox be given the support they have been given if they were fat, short, had disabilities, or heck, if they just didn’t represent feminine ideals? I don’t want to take anything away from their courage – I cannot imagine what it takes to undertake that process of transformation when one is in the public eye – but what I do want to question is our own response, as the public eye. What, exactly, are we looking for?

It is these questions that have led me to begin interviewing transgender people, ordinary people, for a series of features for Daily Maverick. The interviews I have done so far have humbled me and profoundly shifted my perspective. One of the things I have realised is that, as human beings, and much like our ruling party, most of us compulsively look for the good story to tell. When there are complications or there is a lack of easy answers, we want to look away. So, when Cox and Jenner look beautiful and triumphant, there is of course the predictable trolling from people with nothing better to do, but those of us with good intentions want to applaud. We want to cheer them on and be happy for them. Which is wonderful and speaks of tremendous progress – and we should be glad about that.

But if we really want to offer our support, we should also be willing to listen to the difficulties, uncertainties, and complications. Some of the stories I have heard have been of gobsmacking courage. But there have also been stories of discomfort and stories that had no clear resolution. My sister is fond of saying, “One never arrives.” That applies here too. What has become clear to me is that Jenner’s transition is not the end of a process, it is the beginning. And for the media, it should be the beginning of the conversation.

Some of the transgender people I have spoken to have told me about a certain prejudice that exists where they are under tremendous pressure to conform to the constraints of their ‘new’ gender. And if they can’t, they’re met with confusion, as though they are indecisive or confused. When the whole reason they wanted to transition in the first place is because gender is non-binary. This pressure to conform, incidentally, is something we all struggle with, whether we realise it or not – the pressure to fit into little boxes. We’d all be better off if we thought differently.

It is enormously dangerous to think that increased media visibility and an increasingly supportive public reaction towards the celebrity faces of the transgender movement means that the battle is being won. That umbrella term LBGTI is deceptive, because not all rights are progressing at the same speed. “My sense is that we are 20 years behind the mainstream gay and lesbian movement in terms of public understanding,” Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defence and Education Fund, told AP. Two decades is a very long time, especially when you think how far gay rights still have to go.

In terms of media coverage, the problem is also that the media is largely an instrument of privilege, and to a large extent it represents the interests of the privileged. This means that the struggles of more marginalised transgender people – in terms of race, socioeconomic status and other factors – are undermined even further. Both Jenner and Cox have, thankfully, used their prominence to create as much awareness as possible. The question is, is the world listening? In the discussion of Jenner’s transition, what has received more airtime – her thanks to the pioneers that paved the way for her to be able to be who she is, in spite of the discrimination and often violence they faced, or her apparent resemblance to Jessica Lange?

Watch: Jenner’s interview with Vanity Fair

Transgender activist Janet Mock wrote in her book Redefining Realness, “The media’s insatiable appetite for transsexual women’s bodies contributes to the systematic othering of trans women as modern-day freak shows, portrayals that validate and feed society’s dismissal of trans women as less than human. The US media’s shallow lens dates back to 1952, when Christine Jorgensen became the media’s first ‘sex change’ darling, breaking barriers and setting the tone for how our stories are told. These stories, though vital to culture change and our own sense of recognition, rarely report on the barriers that make it nearly impossible for trans women, specifically those of colour and those from low-income communities, to lead thriving lives.”

It is unfortunate to see how little has changed. Sadly, Jenner now has a reality show, which I suspect will become more of a gawk-fest than an opportunity for education. I hope I will be proved wrong.

Mock has further pointed out that most transgender people struggle to access the basic care that they need. This is an international phenomenon, and even in more permissive societies, access to hormones, psychological support, adequate counselling, and continued medical care is a minefield. Should the person opt for extensive surgery, complications are a significant risk and may require sustained medical support. If a person is unable to afford the hormone treatment – which is prohibitively expensive – the withdrawals are excruciating.

Ultimately, much of this boils down to a fundamental, often unspoken discrimination. Transgender people face a magnitude of legal and administrative challenges; documentation can be an enormous issue; and, because employment discrimination is so widespread, transgender people are more than four times more likely to live in poverty in the US (statistics for South Africa are not available). One in five transgender people had been refused somewhere to live and one in 10, according to a survey published by Reuters, had been evicted on the basis of being transgender. One of my interviewees told me, “If my workplace is to be believed, then I obviously forgot everything I learned in the 15 years I ran an information technology department” after she began presenting publicly as a woman.

These are issues we need to be talking about in the mainstream media, and we need to strike while the iron is hot. Not just for the pioneers; not just for Jenner and Cox, whose great gift is to be the public faces of a movement twenty years behind its already marginalised peers; but for those who are just trying, every day, to lead ordinary lives. DM

* This is the first in a series of features in Daily Maverick exploring what it means to be transgender.

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• Anger over Jenner’s choice for Arthur Ashe Courage Award at Fox News